Beware the question

In our last post we asked the sincere question "Where is winter?" In this post we pursue a closely related topic: Why did we ask that question?

Because when you ask a question, you just might get an answer.

An answer of 27.5.

Inches.

Snow.

That's a lot of winter all at once.

It would not have been such a bad thing if it had come in courses, like a nice dinner. A few light, flaky inches to start things off, whet the appetite. Then a hearty serving of several more inches, with a little side of sunny but cool days, so as not to hasten melting too much. Then a grand finale of fluffy dessert snow, before it all goes up in a glorious flambé of warmish days and mild nights and leaves us with just pleasant memories (“Ahhh...remember that gentle snowfall in January? So pretty. So just the right amount“).

Or a buffet, where each of us could choose what we wanted and didn't want and wait for the old, tired dregs to be taken away and replaced by a fresh new helping.

Instead, we were served up a huge helping of snow all at once, plopped in a giant dog dish unceremoniously.

So we are all coping as best we can with the resulting indigestion caused by such a feast, not wanting any more snow for a very long time. Eager for a diet of something lighter, with a heaping side of sunshine and warmth.

Where has winter gone?

Much as I love the winter season—the brutal winds and driving snow, the 20 extra minutes required to properly dress for the dangerously long trip from the house to the car—I do envy the birds who get to escape it all by going south. Which is why it is perplexing that several mornings recently we have been awakened by BIRDS. In JANUARY. Judging by the amount of droppings on our porch, one of them is even getting a nest together under the overhang. A NEST. IN JANUARY.

The obvious explanation for the birds’ hanging around is that it has been so mild this winter. Still—and you'd think the birds would know this, being experienced travelers—it’s a lot MORE mild wherever it is that they usually go. If I were a bird, I'd be a lot more interested in ditching our northern locale.

On the other hand, they're probably saving a lot in travel costs. Wear and tear must be pretty considerable for birds. And at peak travel season the skies would be jammed, and what bird enjoys trekking long distances with hordes of other travelers, or getting stuck in a long line at the travel plaza fast food places?

But the longer the birds wait around, the more risk they run of being trapped by truly nasty weather. It's sure to arrive sometime. Their meager lodgings here don't have heat, and the restaurant buffets can be pretty skimpy when the brutal weather comes. Birds who stick around too long make for easy prey, particularly by unscrupulous sellers of time shares in more hospitable locales.

So go, birds, go while you can. Our porch will be here for you in spring. Though we can’t promise it will be clean.

Excitement on Christmas Eve

The Hero and Princess experienced a bit of unusual adventure this Christmas...

'Twas the night before Christmas and while at a restaurant

There was great flashing of lights while eating our croissant.*

An EMS vehicle and ladder truck too

Stopped on the street right in our full view.

Feeling a shiver of fright, we looked all around,

No danger seemed imminent, so we all calmed down.

Then we swiveled our heads and what did we see

But several big men, not in jeans and tees.

In full uniform through the emergency door they came,

We sure hoped they weren't there to put out a flame.

They strode to a man a few tables away

And asked if he'd like to go out in their sleigh.**

Shaking his head, he protested “I'm fine!” But his wife

Thought a sleigh ride was best for ensuring his life.

So he walked to the sleigh and got all strapped down

Then proceeded to ride to a hospital across town.

As they roared out of sight we thought we heard him exclaim,

“I'll be back for the rest of my glass of champagne!”***

_________

*Not really, but it rhymes better than “salad with marinated beef tips.”

**Again, no, but it's difficult to rhyme anything with stretcher. Not as hard as rhyming with orange, but still.

***Or possibly tuna tartare.