Hobbies aren't us

"How was your first day of work?" Joe asked a few weeks ago when I started my new job.

"Well, my boss asked me a disturbing personal question," I said.

"Did you tell HR?" he said, alarmed.

"No, not disturbing in that way," I said. "She wanted to know what you and I like to do together in our spare time."

"Spare time?" he echoed, as if unfamiliar with the term.

"For fun," I explained.

"Oh. What'd you say?"

"Well, I didn't think 'eat ice cream out of the carton' was really what she meant, so I told her we like to go to flea markets and antique places. Not that we have done those things very often lately," I said significantly.

"Well, we do lots of other things together," he protested.

"Like?" I said.

"Like...we go out to eat together," he said.

"No, we need some interests," I said. "You know, like some couples like to travel, or go boating together."

"I like to go to the beach," he offered.

"Yeah, but we do that, what, a couple of times a year?" I said. "We need something we do more often...we need to develop a 'signature' activity -- something that's really interesting and that we pursue wholeheartedly."

"We could pursue going to the beach wholeheartedly," he said with enthusiasm.

I decided to take a different tack. "Maybe it would help to narrow our choices," I said. "We don't really like anything outdoorsy -- other than the beach," I said hastily, as I saw him getting ready to say something again. "So that cuts out stuff like camping, hiking, kayaking, hunting --"

"Of course I don't want to go hunting!" he said, horrified.

"-- mountain climbing, fishing, bird watching, bug catching...hmmm, quite a lot of things, actually," I mused.

"I would like to take up fishing," he said. "You could bring along a book and read on the bank."

"Welll," I said, wondering how to get out of that one delicately, "that wouldn't really qualify as doing something together."

He thought some more. "We both like historic stuff, like museums," he suggested.

I looked at him. "Who fell asleep in a hammock in the last museum we were in?"

"Well, if you didn't have to stop and read every single sign in the place, even the ones that say Donated in Memory of Mrs. Ethel Kackelmuss..." he retorted.

I mentally crossed museums off our potential "signature activity" list.

"How about playing games?" was his next suggestion.

"Like Chinese checkers on our honeymoon?" I asked.

"Now, lovey, not every game we play ends up with you throwing the board at me. Although, come to think of it," he mused, "we haven't really played any games with a board since then...."

I crossed playing games off our list.

And so it went. We thought for a long time, trading ideas back and forth, neither of us finding just the perfect interest to pursue as a couple.

Although we do like to take naps. So until something better comes to mind, that's what we'll be doing in our spare time. Although I probably won't tell my boss.