Farewell, Outlook. I will miss your tidy folders

I'm sorry, Outlook, but it just isn't going to work out between us. There's someone else, you see.

I know this might be unexpected, but if you'd paid attention you might have seen it coming. For a while, a long while, you were it for my work email. We were thrown together by IT, and we forged quite a partnership.

I confess that your facelift a couple of years ago took a little getting used to—your inbox entries were harder to read, and I sorely missed the way you used to separate emails by day and week. But I am not a shallow person. I soon learned to appreciate this new version of you over the old, even during that little rough patch there trying to negotiate your calendar and schedule meetings. No big deal that my personal calendar entries could be seen by pretty much everyone for a while, right?

But then there were the chronic viruses. Back doors not secure. You blamed me for not protecting you adequately, and perhaps I could have done more. But really, you could have gone for help sooner. In fact, you should have been on a prevention plan. We could have avoided so much misunderstanding.

I know you blame me for leaving, but I tried to make it work. I really did. But IT was pressuring all the staff to throw their allegiance to Gmail. With its seemingly unlimited storage, who could blame them? You just couldn't deal with all the stuff I needed to store. Still, I was determined not to abandon you. You were professional. A gentleman. Gmail was...common. Cocky. Too familiar. I stuck with you for weeks. Do you remember?

For a time I tried to give you both attention. I know this made you jealous. I guess I would have felt the same. But then you started with the temper tantrums. The drama. Crashing for no reason, multiple times a day. You wouldn't even let me talk to you. Fine. It was so exhausting trying to keep up with your mood swings, I didn't really want to talk either.

You really gave me no choice. I had to move on, find someone to keep me organized, juggle my appointment reminders and goals and tasks. Gmail was there with open arms. I even learned to understand—sort of—the foreign language of labels, not the folders you and I used to communicate with.

I tried to check on you a few times. I did. But you shut me out.

And then one day out of the blue you showed up, acting as if nothing had happened. You showered me with attention and reminders of what we once shared (“Meeting with Lois B. Monday, 2:00,” “12:30 Chili cook-off for staff!” “Edits due to Creative Services”). Sadly, these were tired and old reminders. Gmail never brings up the past—only the bright future. It makes sure I get where I need to be, when I need to be there.

And right now, that is at a Spirit Committee meeting (11:30, Gmail tells me), planning a staff taco lunch. Good luck! I wish you well.

P.S. I really miss having folders to sort my mail into. Please don't tell Gmail.