Family messages

When we were engaged, I tortured my then-fiance with all manner of marriage preparation books, the kind where you both write down answers to deep, personal questions and then discover you have absolutely nothing in common. Just kidding. But many of these books encourage you to dig around in your past to discover why you are like you are and why your fiance is like he is. One question was about the "family messages" you grew up hearing -- things like "Always do your best," "Family takes care of each other," "You appreciate more what you sweat for," etc. I pondered over what messages I might have received while growing up, but could only come up with my father's admonition to "eat your carrots. They'll put hair on your chest!"

I didn't think that was the sort of message the writers of this book had in mind, and I was curious to see if any of my siblings remembered more meaningful messages. Maybe I just hadn't been listening. So one day while we were working out in my brothers' basement, I asked him what messages he remembered. He put down his weights, assumed a scowl (imitating, I assumed, our mother), and said in a stern, deep voice that surely never came from her, "DO YOUR HOMEWORK!"

I sighed. "Not that kind of message," I said.
"What do you mean?" he said. "Didn't Mom ever bug you to do your homework?"
"Please," I said, somewhat prissily. "I didn't have to be told to do my homework."

Since my brother couldn't come up with any "family messages" either, I concluded that we didn't get any. This made me feel somewhat deprived, as all my life I've thought I had a pretty good home life, and now I discover that I've been cheated out of wisdom for life's challenges. But at least I finally have a reason to go to therapy.