This Vacation brought to you by Hurricane Arthur

The Hero and Princess recently vacationed at a beach in Virginia, where they were visited by a smallish storm known as Hurricane Arthur. The Hero -- one of that group the Princess will never understand, those who LIKE storms -- was looking forward to experiencing a hurricane firsthand. His excitement, however, did not quite match that of the crew of the Weather Channel, who all tried, and failed, to convey a sense of regret that actual people might get hurt or suffer damage to their property while the crew were reporting on the biggest hurricane to come ashore in several years:

Station reporter (with subdued excitement): Bob is on the scene in North Carolina. Bob, what can you tell us?

Bob (excitement contained not a whit): I gotta tell you, Charlene, the people left here are really gonna be sorry they didn't evacuate! From the looks of things they're gonna be cut off for weeks after this storm is done with them! Look, there goes a roof now! (He ducks. Roof slams into camera, knocking cameraman down.)

Charlene: Uh, Bob, don't you think maybe you and Steve should find some shelter?

Bob: Nah, we're fine, Steve's just gonna be a little sore in the morning. Ohhhh, here comes a boat! (Smash.)

Charlene: Bob? Bob?

The Hero, meanwhile, was thinking about his family and wondered whether they'd heard about us being in the path of the storm.

"I have to call my sisters," he said, "so they can worry about us being in a hurricane." He's thoughtful like that.

He was able to reach only one sister, but she duly worried enough for the other sister, who did not get the news until later ("A HURRICANE?? Why didn't you CALL me??").

We had our hurricane-survival strategy all planned out. We would be confined to the hotel for most of the day, we reasoned, so we would hunker down and read. Knowing about the hurricane ahead of time, we had brought with us enough books to last through several hurricanes, at least through ones starting with H or J.

We also studied the hotel's movie theater offerings, picking out a few good ones. THAT would take up several hours. We had plenty of snacks, and water, and the hotel had several restaurants that we hoped would not be shut down by any power outages or experience any other calamities, such as being overrun by cranky, cabin-fevered Little Persons.

Imagine our disappointment when we awoke and discovered that not only had the rain from Arthur moved on during the night, but there were already people OUTSIDE. Walking, jogging, surfing, creating "I survived a hurricane" stickers, etc. True, they were doing these things SIDEWAYS due to the strong wind, but they were not hunkering down according to our script.

But we were prepared for a hurricane, and if we had to, we would pretend we were in one. We sat on our patio and read, ignoring the signs of life before us. We read some more. Then, in the greatest of all insults, the sun came out.

We gave up and went to the beach.

The Hero later reported our hurricane non-experience to his other sister. Though she was relieved that we were safe, she sympathized. "Better luck next time," she said.