Some time ago a discussion arose among friends, as it often does, about food. Specifically, cake. A theory, which we shall refer to as the Theory of Cake Calories, was put forth and much debated. This theory centers on the idea that the eating of cake* involves a finite number of calories, and that whether one consumes these calories in small, well-reasoned amounts, or in overzealous proportions, is simply a matter of distribution.
Let's illustrate with an example, which may be theoretical. Or not.
One individual explained that she sometimes--only sometimes--finds herself, after consuming a reasonable portion of cake, or brownie, or whatever sweet happens to present itself, slicing off jusssst a bit more of it. She reasoned that she was likely to consume more of this treat later in the day--the first portion often being part of her breakfast--so why not have that portion of calories now? It would be fresher, and who knew if it would even be there later in the day? She felt a duty to protect her rightful share of calories from her husband, who, upon seeing unclaimed sweets sitting around, might take it upon himself to rid the kitchen of them.
Many of us supported our sister in this course of action. One person, however, did not think her strategy went far enough. “Well, in a year I'm going to consume this much cake”--here he traced an enormous, imaginary cake with his hands--”so why not eat it all now?”
This discussion had a definite impression on the Hero. Later that week, after we enjoyed a white cake with buttercream frosting for my birthday, he said, “I think we should eat tomorrow’s cake today.”
I looked at the enormous amount of two-layer cake still to be consumed and said, “We should definitely eat at least tonight’s cake today. And tomorrow’s cake tonight, and...”
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*Happily, according to Mathematical Rule 3.14159, the theory can also be extended to other foods of caloric generosity.
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