We have all become accustomed to taking an umbrella with us wherever we go, including to the mailbox, the garage, the basement, etc., and indeed for some of us, our umbrellas have become permanently affixed to our bodies.
However, should you find yourself in the midst of a downpour without an umbrella, not to worry! From the streets of the nation's capital come various innovations in rain gear that make one proud to be American.
One popular look in rain gear, especially for those who are deep believers in recycling as well as in innovation, is the plastic grocery store bag loosely pulled over one's head and down to the ears, with the store name prominently displayed upside down across the back of the head. When it stops raining, the bag may be carefully removed from the head, shaken about, and placed in one's bag or pocket for further use when the heavy showers return, of which there is currently a 76% chance.
A more innovative arrangement is protective headgear consisting of a bag of 24 Extra-Super Plushy Soft toilet paper rolls. This is even more striking when seen on two persons side by side, as I observed the other day. The large bag of 24 conveniently extends out from the individual's head, covering his shoulders as well. This covering could present a problem, however, if the bag has any holes in it; the wearer would then be notable not only for innovative headgear but also for innovative, and clingy, bodywear.
I'm sure it is only a matter of time before we see other inventive rain gear for the head -- large leaves, watermelons, other people smaller than oneself carried over the head horizontally. The deeply held American beliefs in innovation and personal comfort -- and for women, not getting our hair messed up -- should never be underestimated.
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