The transformer coat

As the seasons change and we circle around once again to cooler weather, so the Hero and I have circled around to a recurring discussion: outerwear. For my part, I argue for the need to have multiple coats or jackets for various occasions and types of weather. The Hero believes this is a false need, bordering on obsession, on my part.

"We don't have room for so many coats," he argues, which is true. In 1840, around when our house was built, people were not into building giant closets, because they knew that doing so would only encourage their adult children who had houses of their own to store stuff there. Besides, there wasn't any space to build closets, so they hung their coats on pegs in the living room, since there also wasn't any space for an entryway. This rich heritage has been handed down until the present, and our coats, too, reside out in the open, hanging from Shaker-style pegs fashioned by the Hero. 

But the problem is not really that we have too many coats. It's that we don't have neat-looking coats that would make the out-in-the-open coat display look interesting. Our rack of coats, in fact, could look like a Pottery Barn ad, if only we had really cool coats and accessories, like a plaid flannel jacket, a bright yellow rain slicker, polka-dot rain boots, a vintage child's red wagon, a medium-size friendly dog, etc.   

I sometimes find myself searching these Pottery Barn ads for any hint of where they might have obtained the cool coats and accessories in the photos ("Yellow rain slicker, Shop Here, $85, www.shophere.com").

Maybe the Hero has a point about the obsession thing.

He would love to decree a one-coat per person policy, which he believes would work if each of us could find just the right coat. The following is an ad in pursuit of that goal that describes the coat characteristics needed. 

Wanted: One all-purpose coat, or jacket, smallish size to fit my wife. Coat must come with removable liner and hood to be suited to various outdoor temperatures. Must be able to shrink and grow to accommodate more or less bulk underneath as clothes are layered or removed for varying seasons. Coat must also be able to grow and decrease in length, as dictated by the current weather, by some mechanical or electrical or magical means. It must suit both casual and dressy occasions. In rain or other precipitation, coat must self-activate a rainguard protective coating that deactivates once the threat is past.

Or, in the event such a coat is not possible, perhaps a medium-size friendly dog...