Each spring we look forward to cleaning off our patio and the patio furniture so we can enjoy nature. Another little spring ritual we have is some variation on the following conversation, which generally occurs while we are enjoying nature on our patio:
Hero: There are flower pots surrounding our chairs.
Me: Yes! There are!
Hero: And on the porch steps.
Me: Mmm hmmm.
Hero: And hanging above our heads.
Me (helpfully): And in the windows.
Hero: Everywhere I go there's a flower pot!
Me: You noticed!
Hero: I'm going back inside.
This signals that the flower pots have reached critical mass on the patio, at which point the Hero believes the furniture is no longer useful, and is even in danger of combusting.
A similar complaint has been lodged against an excess of pillows on both the couch and the bed. The Hero maintains that a ratio of one pillow per item of furniture -- two at the most, if they are very small -- allows for the most mathematically pleasing proportion. Most important, it allows one to easily take a nap when one wishes to.
A male friend concurs that pillows should remain a strictly functional item, and decorative ones -- if they must be used -- should not number more than one on any given piece of furniture, lest they be encouraged to multiply.
"Can't even sit on my own couch with all the pillows on it," he says. "Can't even FIND the couch with all the pillows on it."
Maybe not, but it sure looks pretty.
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