Traveler beware

Many people, when planning a vacation, take advantage of the vast resources online for hotels and "must-see" sights. Sites that offer other travelers' experiences and perspectives are particularly helpful, pointing out pros and cons of whatever you are investigating. On these sites, for example, you can read that "This is the best hotel EVER! You must stay here!" and also, about the same hotel, "If you stay here you are a dimwit."

Such has been our experience with searching for a place to stay during our upcoming visit to San Francisco, a city that contains roughly 5,763 hotels. To be certain of finding the best accommodations for the lowest price, I have scrutinized each and every one of these hotel websites. Or, more likely, after scrutinizing several of them, they all started to look alike, and I ended up looking at just the same 8 over and over again.

Here is where reviews by others who had stayed at the various hotels came in handy, as I learned things like "the walls appear to be made of Staples 26 lb, 96 bright multipurpose printer paper" and "the bathroom will accommodate either your front end or your back end, but not both at the same time."

Some reviews carried ominous warnings. "Avoid the area behind this hotel," several said. This is an area known, apparently, as the "Tenderloin," although no one mentioned WHY it is called the Tenderloin. One must employ one's imagination for this, although one should probably not employ one's imagination too much.

To help other travelers avoid this area, several reviews advised turning left when exiting this particular hotel, never right, and I immediately pictured a hapless traveler, such as myself, leaving the hotel and trying desperately to remember "Do I turn left? or right??" -- and in this distracted state, stepping off the curb and getting run over by the trolley. 

Which brings us to a beloved feature of San Francisco: the trolley. The trolley is a convenient way of getting around the city, with its ubiquitous steep streets that go straight up in the air and then just -- end. Many reviews advised travelers, no matter where they stay, to be sure to request a room facing the street so as not to miss a single trolley bell clang through the night. This is called "experiencing the city" or, by some, "experiencing insanity."

So as we embark in our trip, we are indebted to the thousands of fellow travelers whose reviews and advice will no doubt make our trip more enjoyable. Just as long as we remember to turn left.