The Princess has too long neglected this blog, just as she has too long neglected eating in a healthy manner throughout the holiday season. The former shall be immediately rectified; the latter -- well, certain changes should not be too hastily implemented.
Our daily paper -- which we receive three days a week -- carried an article on Jan. 1st that discussed "five foods to help you detox after holiday eating." It was not mere assumption on the paper's part that readers would have indulged a little too much during the holidays and would therefore be in need of detox advice. The paper had some advance warning of the likelihood of these developments, having just a couple of weeks before run another article showcasing the 10 winners of the paper's annual cookie contest. The paper graciously included the recipe for each.
It will be readily understood that the paper could hardly carry the headline "This week, 10 cookies to make you gain weight; next week, detox to help you lose it!" Yet that is pretty much the truth.
The detox feature reported that high-sugar foods and alcohol are the enemies to which we too readily give in over the holidays. Yet just one page over was a prominent article on a comeback drink being seen in some party circles: punch. The kind with alcohol. Alcohol that makes us gain weight.
Thankfully, readers could continue to the next page, where the detox recipes were given to help us recover from all this sugar and alcohol. These included a raw kale salad that would have sounded much more edible were it not labeled "detox." There was also something called a "Detox Shake," which should be outlawed on grounds of confusion: It SOUNDS like something healthy, yet the shake part holds out a slim hope that there will be SOME palatability to it. The fault would not be entirely on the part of the would-be dieter if he or she were confused over this.
Another recipe is known as "Reboot Green-Fry," which sounds like something taken from a science fiction novel, but is in fact simply a harmless stir-fry with various greens and vegetables.
Those who come up with these detox recipes that will save us from ourselves might take notice of what they name these foods. Contrast "Reboot Green-Fry," for example, with the names for the punch recipes, such as "Dutch Call" and "Charleston Light Dragoon's Punch." Is it any wonder many of us go for the latter first?
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