Our video game vision

It may seem as if all the Princess and Hero have been doing lately is playing video games, but this is NOT true. They have also been thinking of making video games. And earning lots of money from them. And retiring early to Hawaii where they can snorkel and paddle board every day if they want, and maybe after several years learn to stand up on a paddle board for more than three seconds at a time.

At least, this is what the Hero has been thinking. The Princess mostly ponders, How can I strangle the creator of Does Not Commute and get away with it?

Our latest idea for a video game grew out of an integral part of our (mostly my) life: beverages. I am the Pied Piper of beverages: I may go forth out of the house with one, and come home bearing several dozen more, all in various states of consumption. As if I might, while completing my errands around a town I know quite well, get very, very lost, and drive very, very far into a forsaken desert land where liquids have never been heard of, and wither away, parched, before a drop of bottled water can be air-dropped to me.

Thus I am never, ever without several somethings to drink nearby. (Car makers, you can never put too many cupholders in your vehicles. Please remember this.)

So as the Hero and I envision it, the goal of our proposed video game would be to complete one’s daily errands while collecting the highest possible number of beverages in one’s vehicle (or perhaps a grocery cart--there could be different versions). Going to Target? Make sure to stop by the in-store coffee shop and pick up a latte, or (even better, AND) get a slushie.

There would be opportunities to collect bonuses, one of which would be earning more cupholders so you can buy even more drinks.

Players would also win points if, at the end their errands, they completely cleaned out the car of beverages. Conversely, they would face severe penalties for leaving beverages behind in a vehicle. Like, maybe swarms of ants come and drink the beverages and attract a bunch of giant anteaters, who eat the ants, all the cupholders, and the car. Or maybe the penalty is that the driver gets transported into the Does Not Commute game and is forced to fall off a bridge at 95 miles an hour, over and over again. (Not that this has EVER happened to the Princess.)

So that is the vision. We realize that our retirement to Hawaii as a result of creating and selling video games might not be imminent. But if we do get there, we’ll arrive with plenty of beverages.