An interview with the Pansies

Today we bring you an excerpt from an interview with the winter pansies growing in the Prissy Princess's garden. There is some controversy over whether the pansies have outstayed their welcome.

Interviewer: Today we welcome a community of winter pansies who have been accused of squatting on land that is intended for other flowers. Welcome, pansies.

Head Pansy: Thank you. We're glad to be here and tell our side of the story.

Interviewer: First tell us a little about what you, as winter pansies, are, exactly.

Head Pansy: Certainly. We get planted in the fall, rather than in the spring like our cousins. We don't die in the winter -- although we do sort of take a little rest; I mean, who wants to always be cheery when it's cold and cloudy out? -- and then we explode like crazy in the spring. In fact we are (if I might say so) the most stunning spring flowers in the garden. (A smattering of applause is heard.)

Interviewer: And when do you -- let me put this delicately -- leave for that Great Garden in the sky?

Head Pansy (evasively): Oh, it varies, sometimes earlier, sometimes later.

I: Can you be more specific?

HP: No.

I: We understand that your gardener was given to understand that you would bloom throughout the winter, even peeking up through the snow, but that you were a little lackluster in this effort.

HP (bristling): Well, we can't help what she was told. It was cold this winter. It was hard keeping up our color all that time. (Other pansies nod.)

I: Let's move on to what's happened this spring. We understand that under the arrangement you had with your gardener, you were to bloom during the winter and spring, and then when planting season rolled around you were to voluntarily withdraw to make room for the spring and summer annuals and perennials. Is this correct?

HP: Well, she may have been told that we would 'voluntarily withdraw' by the guy who planted us for her. But we never made any promises.

I: Nevertheless, the gardener alleges that you are squatting on a patch that is no longer yours, and that you are preventing her from beginning her summer garden. What do you say to those allegations?

HP: With all due respect, we haven't exactly seen many other flowers lined up to take our place. (Laughter) And from what we hear, we're the best thing that ever happened to this garden. It's never been so colorful. So we figure the gardener will never toss us out as long as we're still blooming. (A chorus of assents is heard from the other pansies.)

I: So you refuse to vacate the land and move on to the Great Garden?

HP: I think it's safe to say we're gonna just hang out for a while yet. See how things go. (Looks around at other pansies, who nod in agreement.) Haven't heard a bulldozer coming to force us out. (Laughter is cut short by the sound of an engine starting up. The pansies make a great rush for the exit.)

I (Speaking loudly over the sound of the engine): Thanks for joining us today, ladies and gentlemen. Our guests today have been the Squatting Winter Pansies, although this may have been your last glimpse of them...tune in later!