The new reality

In speaking with other wives, I find that two subjects of conversation frequently arise: husbands, and trash cans. These two subjects are generally mentioned together in the same conversation, and are usually understood to be in opposition to each other; that is, the higher the household trash becomes, the more disinclination arises on the part of husbands to remove it from the household.

This situation has led one of my co-workers to take up betting, a pastime she shares with her young daughter, in which they bet on how long it will take Dad to notice that the trash has left the confines of the trash can and is now growing toward the ceiling, down the stairs, into the garage, into the neighbors' yard, etc. So far, whoever has bet on the garbage has been a big winner.

The betting is not confined to the garbage situation. This co-worker was dismayed when a friend, who thought she was doing a good deed, hefted a heavy bag of mulch off my co-worker's walkway in the yard. "I left that there on purpose," she said. "We were betting to see how long it would take my husband to move it."

Despite considerable discussion among wives, no logical explanation has been found for the seeming inability of husbands to notice, without reminders, such chores around the house. It is Joe's fervent belief, however, that the fault lies with wives, who in some mysterious, womanly fashion, cause men to -- and I quote -- "lose all their brains" when they enter the matrimonial state. "You wives just line us all up at the top of a hill and send us sprawling down. We're helpless to think of anything ourselves."

From her own experiences, my co-worker has developed an idea for a new reality show, which would feature husbands in a familiar home environment. The men would be responsible for completing certain household tasks, but would not be told what those tasks are. The challenge, of course, is that they must discover, for themselves, what jobs they are to complete, and then complete them. The appeal of such a show for viewers, who of course would all be women, is to watch how long this process takes.

My co-worker is betting that this could be a multi-season show.