A job is in the mailbox

Our unemployment class is over, and we are now armed with all we need to go out and conquer the job market. We can forget about everything we thought we knew about how to find a job. There is just one thing we need to know to unlock the hidden job market: Talk to the mailman.


The idea is that mailmen know everyone and everything going on, including what you are giving family members for Christmas because you hide the presents in the mailbox, so who better to exchange information with? According to our workshop leader, one of her past participants landed his dream job from a tip he received from his mailman. This all came about simply from the man hanging out in his front yard with his dog and being there when the mailman came by. 


Unfortunately we do not have a front yard. Or a dog, despite appearances that a dog is a requirement to live in the neighborhood. Our house sits right on the street, and it might attract some attention were I to hang out in the street, strolling up and down, particularly in 30-degree weather. I would be strolling quite a while, as our mailman also arrives at no particular time that I can discern. This is no doubt to keep the unemployed of the neighborhood guessing.


The usual way I know the mail has arrived is this:


1. Mail is shoved through the little slot in the front door, making a great clatter.
2. I grab the nearest weapon, sure that I am about to be attacked by someone coming through the door. (At this time of year, the closest weapon is likely to be a large Mary or Joseph figurine.)
3. I hear, faintly, the mailman laughing to himself on the other side of the door.


So I may be doomed to never reach my dream job goal, and it will be the mailman's fault. Someday, when I am sitting down with a goal-setting book, it is going to ask me, "Have you achieved your goals? If not, why not?" And I will answer, "No, because my mailman is unpredictable."


But let us be positive. When one door closes, somewhere a mail slot opens.