This year, in an effort to break my usual spring pre-planting routine, I successfully restrained myself from visiting every nursery within a day's drive of our home and supporting them by purchasing vast numbers of flowers. Instead, I bought a vaster amounts of flowers at fewer nurseries. (To those establishments that I skipped, my apologies. It's not you, it's me.) 


Visiting a nursery for flowers is not unlike visiting a pet store or shelter: No matter your firm intentions, no matter how many plants or pets you are already in possession of, you just CAN'T leave any at the store. Who knows what terrible fate they may suffer? Of course, with my caretaking skills, the fate of either pet or plant may not be much more positive if they came to reside at my house, but I am speaking theoretically.


And so I generally make the rounds of all the nurseries each spring, Leaving No Flower Unconsidered.


While making my selections, I frequently meet other gardeners who share this philosophy. Recently while I was looking at perennials a woman said to me, "Well, here I am again. Every year I buy all these plants, and every year a bunch die and I start all over again. I should have stock in this place."


"Do you live at my house?" I said.


The Hero has expressed some confusion over perennials. "Why do you have to keep buying them? Aren't perennials supposed to come back every year?"


Theoretically, yes. For me, not so much.


The Hero has occasionally mentioned that perhaps he should accompany me when I shop for flowers, in order to help narrow the choices for me ("Okay, we've got 2 pansies. We're done."). But nurseries can be dangerous for some men. Recently I heard a nursery staff person say to a female customer, "You look like you have a question."


She sighed. "Not really. I was just wondering where my husband went off to."


The staff person's face turned thoughtful. "Sometimes," he said, "when people are wandering around for too long, we kidnap them and put them to work." He said cheerfully, "That's probably what's happened to your husband."


This year, again, the Hero offered to go flower shopping with me. "No, you'd better stay home," I said protectively. "I don't want to endanger you."


"That's thoughtful of you."


"Not really. I'll need you to help me plant all those flowers when I get home."