Adventures in kale

The Hero and I recently ventured into a farmer's market run by Amish individuals, where we marveled at the assortment of fresh produce and meats, the yummy breads and pastries, and the somewhat unflattering haircuts on the part of some of the young men. 

We had agreed to branch out a bit and buy some foods with which we were not very familiar, which included most green things. But we would also get a few standbys, like ice cream, which we are SURE is related in some way to most green things and therefore reasonably healthy.

I wandered to the section of green things and, after much pondering of the list above the counter, decided to go with kale. This decision was made mainly because a) I was vaguely familiar with kale as a food source, and b) see a).

Kale was also the only leafy green listed on the sign that I had any firsthand knowledge of, having brought some home from the grocery store once. (In that instance, the Hero opened the refrigerator door and yelled up the stairs to me, "What is this weed you brought home?")

I wasn't entirely sure, however, what kale looked like, so when the young man behind the counter asked what I wanted, I gestured vaguely in the direction of all the greens and said confidently -- it is very important to be confident, and failing this, to SOUND confident -- "One bunch of kale, please."

What I received could best be described as a bush. But since it is important to be confident, and failing that to LOOK confident, I did my best to look as if I totally carted home bushfuls of kale all the time.

"Who do we know who would take some of this kale and still like us?" I whispered frantically to the Hero. At least I hoped it was him I was whispering to. It was hard to see around the bush I was carrying.

When I attempted to put it in the refrigerator upon our return home, it was like trying to stuff a small pillow inside. It billowed out to one side, and when I successfully got that side stuffed in, the other side billowed out.

Happily, it did not take long for the kale to be consumed, thanks to some pitying neighbors and the vegetable's tendency to cook down to about 1/73 of its original size. Had it not been consumed, the bush could have fit into a toothpaste tube (carry-on size). 

This experience has me all fired up to make a return trip to this particular establishment -- perhaps next time we'll come home with a bush-size container of ice cream.