Me man, blow things up

The Hero took steps this weekend to rectify what he considers to be an alarming trend: his feminization, as a result of picking up some of the Princess's habits and neglecting his more manly side. These telltale signs consist of items such as the following:

--Certain facial expressions and utterances, such as "bye-bye" and "yay!"

--Other things that the Hero would rather not have made public, lest they tarnish his image

He announced one afternoon that this trend would be halted by watching scary man-movies, which he felt he had neglected recently.*

"Perfect," I said. "Things blowing up is just what you need to get some man-ness back."

But judging by the sounds emanating from the TV room, the story line of the first movie centered not so much on explosions as on wild animals, or humans grunting like wild animals. This must be the post-apocalyptic movie he mentioned, in which almost every human has succumbed to some sort of virus that turns them into animals, except of course for the good guy. The good guy is very tall and rugged and manly. HE is not feminized! HE will save the few surviving normal humans with his manliness and medical knowledge!

Which he does, but then promptly dies.

"He doesn't die," the Hero corrected me. "He sacrifices himself to save the other survivors."

That was short-sighted, I mused. Just how long will those few stragglers last against the human-animals without Mr. Tall, Rugged, and Manly? Hopefully the producers will leave that to our imagination rather than give us a sequel ("Mr. Tall, Rugged, and Manly Returns: The Good Zombie").

There were also various alien movies in the lineup, which brings up the question: Are any movies ever made about good aliens? Ones who, I don't know, maybe come up with a cure for cancer, help us solve the Earth's many problems, or give us some new ideas for decorating?

Oh, wait, there I go feminizing things again. Maybe I'll go around snarling, human-animal-like, for a few days, until the Hero lines up Pride and Prejudice on the TV for me.

"Here," he'll say, directing me to the couch. "You need some feminizing."

_______

* Just so there is no misunderstanding about what the Princess has been "making" the Hero watch, her favorite show of late is Bones, which is not exactly for the dainty or faint of heart.