It's not easy being an elf

The Hero and Princess enjoyed seeing various other individuals in the kingdom over the holiday season, in far-flung places, and are very glad that none of those they visited were intimately connected with hospital emergency rooms, as was the case last Christmas. As the Hero made clear, their itinerary did NOT include such a visit this year. Of course, the itinerary last year did not include one either; it was just sort of a last-minute decision on the Princess's part. Fortunately, there were no unscheduled visits this year.

Now that Christmas is past -- at least until we start being bombarded with ads for NEXT Christmas, which should start anytime after Easter -- certain individuals can finally take a well-deserved break. These include elves, whose complex and sometimes stressful position I was only recently able to appreciate after being given a glimpse into their duties.

A coworker explained that, as the youngest in her family, she has the responsibility of the Elf, a very critical position without which there would be no opening of gifts on Christmas morning. Or, in her family's case, on the morning BEFORE Christmas. For reasons still unclear to me, they did not wait until Dec. 25 to open presents when she was growing up. But I digress.

The Elf is responsible for distributing all the gifts under the tree. This sounds easy enough, but in this particular family they open gifts one person at a time, which necessitates a certain strategy on the part of the Elf. She must arrange the gifts and present them in a timely manner to the correct recipients. Only one gift at a time may be presented, and there must be sufficient time between the presentation of gifts, but not TOO much time, as the giftees will become restless and may even start to heckle the Elf. "Mercilessly critique the elf," is how she describes it. "It's a lot of pressure," she admits.

So this year the Elf was counting on the assistance of two young Elves-in-Training, cousins, to help bear her burden. Specifically, she was counting on their cuteness -- at 2 1/2 and 4 1/2, they possessed a considerable amount of it -- to offset the possibility of heckling should the elf duties not be performed to expectations.

But choosing trainees is tricky, even for elves, and the Head Elf quickly realized that young elfins are subject to grumpiness when they are required to work well into the evening hours without a proper rest beforehand.

"It didn't work out so well," she sighed.

She took heart, however, from signs that the 4 1/2-year-old enjoys running things, which she feels bodes well for next Christmas. Perhaps by then the older child will even be able to maneuver the younger one to do her bidding, and the Head Elf will be able to sit back, relax, and maybe even become a Retired Elf. And perhaps even engage in a little gentle heckling.