Chim chim, Part II

"Tell me again why we both have to be here when the chimney guys come back?" Joe wanted to know.

"Because they're going to put a video camera down the flue and they're bound to find all sorts of things wrong and explain them in words I won't understand, like 'You will have to take out another mortgage to pay for all the things we are going to do to your chimney,' " I said.

Which was pretty much what the chimney guys did say after they finished their second evaluation. But the part I really had trouble with was when Mike, the main chimney guy, talked about rebuilding the top of the chimney. Mike would not be the one to actually do this. Apparently the company has a legendary man, Jim, who does all the masonry stuff. Jim is so legendary because he is 83 years old.

I thought Mike was kidding.

An 83-year-old, on our roof?

Not that I go in for age discrimination on the job, but I pictured all the 80-somethings I have known in my life, and my imagination failed me when I tried to picture them on our roof.

Mike explained that they would have to build some sturdy scaffolding on the roof so Jim could move around safely. He did not explain how Jim would actually get up on the roof. Helicopter?

"Does Jim have any grandsons?" I asked in what I hoped was a tactful manner. "You know, that he might pass along his legendary skills to?"

But Mike seemed unperturbed by the prospect of an 83-year-old on the roof. And why not? It wasn't his roof the old man might fall off of.

"What if he fell off?" I whispered to Joe. "It would be devastating if he fell off our roof."

Joe was of the opinion that it would be devastating to have anyone fall off our roof.

"Oh, you know what I mean," I said. "He's more likely to fall off than, say, a 20-year-old." I wanted no part in the possible ending of a legend's career, not to mention his life.

Joe had other worries. "Would we pay him by the hour?" he whispered to me. "Cuz he might not work all that fast."

We missed some of what Mike was saying as we pondered these weighty questions. We were relieved to not have to make an immediate decision on whether we would have the chimney rebuilt. "We don't really recommend waiting on that," Mike said, "but you could wait."

"I'll bet they don't want us to wait," Joe said to me when Mike had gone. "What if something happens to Jim while we make up our minds?"

"As long as whatever happens to him doesn't happen to him on our roof," I said. "I don't want to be known as the people who had Santa fall off their house."