Dancing for the uncoordinated

I have long been fascinated by ballroom dancing -- the sight of couples gliding across the floor, twirling, breathless, seemingly floating on clouds...

Or at least other couples. We, personally, do not float on clouds, not that we have made much of an attempt.

But I keep wanting to make an attempt. A couple of years ago Joe got me a ballroom dancing DVD so that we could learn in the privacy of our own home, where no one could laugh at us. But this was while we lived in the apartment, where there was little room to push a vacuum cleaner, let alone practice turns and dips.

Little did we know there would be even less room when we moved to our rowhouse.

So the DVD sits, neglected, in a spot that I'm sure would be totally inaccessible if we even knew where to look for it. But my interest in taking up dance was rekindled when a neighbor mentioned at a meeting that she and her husband were taking a ballroom dance class ("I've always wanted to do it, and he has never wanted to, so I signed us up for his birthday"). She said there were like 98 couples in the class, which is a lot of people. I thought, no one could possibly notice a couple of klutzes with that many people.

So when the parks and rec catalog came, I eagerly flipped to the dance section. There didn't seem to be much for beginners in the way of ballroom dancing, though. Everything was "Advanced," "Level II," or "Next Step." There was even "Advanced Salsa & Merengue!" I got confused; was this dancing or cooking? Cooking while dancing?

But then I found something just for us. In English Country Dancing, you get to learn the kind of dances you see in Pride & Prejudice, which I drool over. The description says, "If you can walk, you can do these dances." Yes! Sign us up.

It's a good thing it also says, "Partner not required." Once Joe hears the P&P phrase, he will SO want out of that class.

Joe wants to know, if we did manage to learn something about dance, what we would do with our knowledge. Where would we practice our newfound skills?

Leave it to a man to be practical.

There are a couple of other interesting classes in this catalog. Did you know that May is National Salad Month? Yes. And you can get in on May Salad Day Bingo if you don't have anything else to do. Me, I'd rather celebrate National Donut Day (which appears to be either June 6 or June 7; why not celebrate both days?). Unfortunately, both of these classes are limited to those over 55. Why do they always get the fun stuff?