Arrrrgh, matey!

With this blog post, tales of the Princess and Hero's vacation are officially ended. Readers, however, are warned to expect occasional vacation references to appear in future posts, such as pirate talk. This arises from the many exposures to pirates during their vacation, such as having their kayak suddenly boarded and overrun with...just kidding! No direct contact with pirates occurred in the course of this vacation.

But the Princess and Hero did visit a shipwreck museum, which, in the absence of many substantial artifacts from actual shipwrecks in the area, consisted mainly of pirate displays. The Hero, in particular, was much taken with the pirate displays, and was in admiration of the pirates' alleged democratic ways. We learned that pirates have been much maligned in popular culture; for instance, they did not, in general, make offenders walk the plank, as commonly believed, much preferring instead to maroon them on a deserted island, with no food, water, or Starbucks, and NO telemarketer block.

But perhaps we are too hasty in saying the shipwreck museum lacked substantial shipwreck artifacts. No doubt it is the only shipwreck museum in the country, or even the world, displaying a genuine Dorito bag rescued from a terrible wreck just off the shore of the Outer Banks. Blackbeard and his pirates, who frequented the waters in this area, no doubt would have gladly marooned their own mothers for the chance to raid a Dorito-bearing ship.

This vacation included many other pursuits. For instance, a conveniently located coffee house offered an oasis of rest from our exhaustive readings on pirate brutality and Dorito catastrophes. Several afternoons we sat in the cafe in calm contemplation of life, blissfully unaware that right across the street mass carnage of another, more modern type was being committed. We gradually became aware of a large crowd gathered at a stand there, and thinking that something important might be going on, such as they were offering free food, we wandered over.

There was food, alright. But this food had, not very long before, been swimming out in the nearby waters, free and happy. At this stand it was being reduced to fish parts. We had also been right about the free food. One man popped a fish part in his mouth, right there in front of us, with no benefit of heat, no cook fish for 5 to 7 minutes, turning once, until flesh flakes easily. Disturbingly, no one else but me saw anything wrong with this. Sure, nothing happened to the man then. But who knows what malady of the brain, what disturbance of the personality, may have happened upon him later. The Hero appeared much interested in these happenings and was fortunate that I was there to rescue him from a similar fate.

In some ways it was a relief to come home and escape the ever-present dangers there -- pirates, raw fish, raw Doritos floating on the open ocean. But we heartily recommend this vacation nonetheless. Aye!