Blackbeard and hammocks

On our vacation we took a little break from our hectic boating schedule to visit Ocracoke Island, whose name sounds like a bad idea for a vegetable-flavored soft drink. To get to Ocracoke Island you must take a ferry, which docks at an end of the island where the only sign of civilization is the ferry office and a sign that says "Ocracoke Village: 340 kajillion miles." Along these 340 kajillion miles you pass a great deal of nature, which presumably you are expected to appreciate and feel some gratitude toward the U.S. national park service for, but which pretty much all looks the same.

Along the way to the village there is also a pony pen, where you can view a large herd (17) of formerly wild ponies said to be descended from horses brought to the island by Spanish explorers in the 16th century, possibly for the purpose of establishing a polo presence in the New World. As far as we know, the ponies have neither confirmed nor denied this widely spread report.

Ocracoke Village is a cute little town on the island that has many attractions, including a coffee shop where the wait is so long that you could step out of line, go play chess, visit some nearby shops, get married, start a family, etc., and come back to find that it is still not your turn to order.

There are also many restaurants and shops in the village, and many places of accommodation, where the abundance of hammocks on the patios moved Joe to envy. These hammocks are rumored to be descended from wild hammocks brought to the island by sailors in the 18th century...er, maybe not. In any case, the hammock abundance may have played a not-insignificant role in Joe's statement that he believed he could satisfactorily stay on the island for an extended time.

We also visited a small museum dedicated to Blackbeard, who was considered one of the fiercest pirates of all time despite the fact that he sometimes wore his trademark long, black beard in a series of braids tied with little colored ribbons. These braids, while striking fear into the hearts of Blackbeard's enemies, nevertheless must have endeared him to the ladies, as he is rumored to have had about 14 wives. Fortunately they all lived at some distance from one another, and even Blackbeard appears to have taken care not to live near any of them.

On our visits to several shops, Joe passed the time by striking up conversations with the local shop owners. These conversations generally began with a comment about the weather. Through these exchanges Joe found that the weather varies amazingly widely on such a tiny island:

Joe: Does it stay warm here in the winter?

Store owner #1: Oh, no! It's definitely cold.

Joe: So, you get a lot of ice and snow, then?

Store owner #1: Well, not ice...and we had an inch of snow once that lasted for about two seconds...but, you know, in the winter here you have to wear, like, shoes, and a coat...and socks...

Armed with this newfound knowledge of the brutality of Ocracoke Island weather, Joe began a conversation with the owner of the next store we went into:

Joe: So I hear it gets pretty cold here in the winter.

Store owner #2: Nahhhh, it stays warm all the time. Don't even need a coat.

Joe: Ahh! I see my wife is ready to leave.

Me: No, I'm -- ouch!

One of Ocracoke's claim to fame is that the restaurants stay open past 9:00 p.m., which is not true of neighboring Hatteras Island where we were staying. You do, of course, need to keep track of the time you'll need to drive the 340 kajillion miles back to the ferry so as not to get stuck on the island overnight. Despite Joe's secret hope that we might not make it to the ferry on time, and we would therefore be forced to rent one of those enviable hammocks for the night, we managed to get one of the last spots on the ferry.

Others were not so lucky. They are still waiting in line at the coffee shop.