At the end of the day, the floor guy is just getting started

If you are looking for old, reclaimed wood flooring, the kind that has been sitting around in someone's attic or barn for 135 years just waiting to be discovered and sold for $1,769.00 a square inch, it takes a great deal of patience and skill to find just the right person from which to buy your wood. Joe and I seem to have what it takes to find this sort of person. The sort of person who knows floors better than anyone else. The sort of person who talks about floors more than anyone else. The sort of person who talks about every other topic completely unrelated to flooring more than anyone else.

We had to drive into the wilds of Pennsylvania to find this sort of person. Roughly half of his conversation -- which, had we stuck around long enough, looked to continue into January -- consisted of certain key phrases, critical to the explanation of antique flooring, as shown here in a sample conversation:

Him: At the end of the day, we want you to be happy with your floor. D'ya know what I mean?

Us: (nodding happily)

Him: And at the end of the day, if you go somewhere else for your floor, you just won't be happy. D'ya know what I mean?

Us: (nodding)

Him: Some customers, at the beginning of the day, they're all excited 'cuz they find some other guy out there who'll give 'em a floor for $2.00 a square foot. But when it gets in the house, and they see what junk it is, at the end of the day they're real disappointed, not like they were at the beginning of the day. D'ya know what I mean?

Us: (nodding gravely)

Him: Now here, we do things different [alternative meaning: expensive] from other guys, d'ya know what I mean? I mean, at the end of the day we've handled a piece of wood eight, nine times.

Us: (nodding dully)

Him: So you won't be gettin' a floor from us that's gonna splinter at the end of the day, d'ya know what I mean?

Us: (nodding off and mumbling) Is it the end of the day, yet?

Of course I am exaggerating somewhat. He did not say, "D'ya know what I mean?" all the time. Sometimes he said, "D'ya know what I'm sayin' to ya?"

All in all, he did a good job of explaining why his wood costs three times as much as the customary $1,769.00 per square inch. But at the end of the day, we just weren't persuaded. I'm sure ya know what I mean.

D'ya?