MEMO
To: The Hero and Princess
From: The body parts that support you when you sit down
Re: Our comfort, or lack thereof
Dear Hero and Princess,
On behalf of your long-suffering and aching necks, backs, and derrières, we wish to protest your somewhat lackluster search for a more comfortable, permanent seating arrangement in the family room. We can no longer tolerate being forced to sit on that hard wooden bench for hours at a time. What do you think we are, Shakers?
Don't fool yourself into thinking those thin little seat cushions help. Please. You might as well put Kleenex down for us.
And what do you plan to do when company comes over? Make them sit on this bench? Or in the hard rocker that looks like it would fall apart if a wet butterfly sat in it? I don't think so.
And while we're at it, when are you going to stop talking about putting the TV down at a more reasonable height and just do it? Your necks are gonna be permanently bent backward from trying to watch that thing.
So we're giving you warning to get us something better. Soon. We refuse to bend on this. Literally. One of these days you'll go to sit down on that bench, and we just aren't gonna bend. Maybe you'd like standing up for a few hours. Ha! Good luck trying to get that approved through the Foot Union.
Sincerely,
NBPLB
(No Body Part Left Behind)
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