The Hero has been engaged in an annual spring ritual of battling bugs in the house, bugs that obviously do not respect his position as head of the household, king of the castle, wielder of bug spray, etc.The Hero has made it his mission to seal up every possible crack they could be using to gain entry.
The Current Enemy is the stink bug, whose disrespect for our home has reached epic proportions. One day when I, thankfully, was not home, the Hero happened to notice a stink bug gorging itself on a banana. The banana that the Hero was about to put into his lunch bag. The Hero suddenly decided that he did not want a banana for lunch, anyway.
Already disgusted, the Hero watched in yet further horror as the stink bug separated itself from the banana, crawled onto the counter, and -- in an act that could have been predicted after its meal -- quite deliberately relieved itself.
It was the last natural act that particular stink bug ever carried out on this earth.
Although an entire bottle of Heavy-Duty Fantastik was pressed into service on the counter and made quick work of cleansing the spot, the Hero knows the exact place where this travesty occurred, and likely always will.
If this is what this creature does when we are watching,what does it do when we are not watching? The only way it could possibly be worse is if -- but we don't want to go there. In the meantime, we press on with sealing up cracks, and console ourselves with the thought that at this moment, scientists are working to perfect the Enemy's enemy, a creature that will make the stink bug wish it had never stepped any of its six legs on our shores. On that day, we may even be able to enjoy bananas again.
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