Our nearby historic town offers several cultural opportunities throughout the year. One such anticipated event in the early part of December is Midnight Madness, during which the stores and restaurants are open until midnight, and many stores have free cider, or perhaps hot chocolate, and little cookies. Unless you get there too late like we do, and then there are only little cookie crumbs. (But they're still FREE.)
Midnight Madness is always highly anticipated and well attended. Basically, the idea is that even though the stores and restaurants are open during the week and on weekends, with quite adequate hours, and people can generally enjoy a crowd-free visit during these times, it is MUCH more fun to visit as part of a great mass of people descending on the town all at once, at night, in temperatures usually reserved for places like the Ellsworth Mountains, Antarctica.
All these people compete with each other for sidewalk space. Due to heavy vehicle traffic, the cars are also competing for use of the sidewalk. This year the organizers seem to have instituted a new rule that you had to visit the town in large groups, preferably at least 10 people. (Small dogs count as .5.) From what we could tell, all the people in a group were required to proceed abreast down the sidewalk, such that no other group (or smaller groups in violation of the rule) could possibly pass them. All 10 in a group also evidently had to pass into and out of stores together, creating huge jams. A great many people enter a store during Midnight Madness and get caught up in a vortex, going around and around inside the store, and never emerging. Some people are still missing from Midnight Madness 1975.
If you wish to actually purchase something during Midnight Madness, you are advised to get in line as early as possible. 4 p.m. is not too early. Even then, you will merely inch up toward the counter, so slowly that your body might start to go into hibernation, and when you are finally within sight of the cash register, you will hear someone announce, "Sorry, it's now midnight and we are closed!" So, forget whatever it was you wanted to buy, just grab whatever's closest and get in line. (We suggest the cookies.)
Other attractions include costumed madrigal singers singing old-fashioned carols to passersby, and Santa playing a saxophone. This year, the costumed madrigal singers seemed to be merely costumed madrigal walkers, as we passed them several times but never heard them singing. Or maybe they WERE singing, and we just couldn't hear them above Santa's saxophone.
Elvis often makes an appearance, and always graciously consents to having his picture taken with fans, particularly those of a certain age and gender. Curiously, we have noted that while Elvis is willing to pose for photos, in all the times we have seen him we have never heard him sing. Call us cynical, but we are beginning to doubt that this is the REAL Elvis.
Surprisingly, parking presents no real issues during Midnight Madness. This is because drivers do not feel the need to fight over limited, actual parking spaces. Instead, they cheerfully make use of no-parking zones, the sidewalk, grass, dry riverbeds, tall trees, rooftops, the church clock tower, etc.
All in all, it is a successful evening, particularly for the store and restaurant owners, most of whom spend most of the year in preparations for this one evening, and the rest of the year in therapy.
Next year, please leave us some cookies.
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