Bless the inventors of cold things

With our area again experiencing a heat wave -- 100 degrees appears to be the new 80 -- we are diligently following experts' advice for staying safe and healthy: drinking plenty of water, limiting our exposure outside, and having our air conditioning disconnected for several days while our patio is fixed.


We could have predicted this heat. As soon as the contract with Gene, the patio guy, was signed, and a day agreed upon for the work to start, we should have called the local weather people: 


"Um, hey, we just wanted to say that, uh, we think it's gonna be really hot here around July 16. For a couple of days probably."


"What?"


"Really hot. Uh, we just thought you should know so you can tell people."


[sounds of computer keys being struck] "But our models are showing a cold front coming through about then. Temps won't get above 75."


"Well, sorry, your model's gonna be a little off."


"Why? What's going on?"


"Let's just say Heat Wave Gene is about to strike."


And strike it did. One hundred degrees or close to it is forecast for the three or so days our AC is off and Gene's crew works on the patio. It is Day 2, and we have never been so happy to go to work each morning, to finally escape the stuffiness in the house. We bless the people who discovered how to put AC in our cars. We revel in the coolness at the office. Our bosses tell us to go home already. 


"Oh, I was just gonna hang around a while longer," we say. "Like maybe through the night."


At home, we drag ourselves around the house only when absolutely necessary. We have turned into cats -- barely moving, wondering why someone is not filling the food dishes and placing them right under our noses.


Instead of fighting over the covers at night, we fight over who has more of our three fans blowing on them. "I can't feel any air," I say.


"Move a little to the left," the Hero says. "I think there might be a slight breeze that way."


When finally my hunger overcame my malaise one night and I went to lazily open the refrigerator, I blessed the person who made the first icebox.


"If you can't find me," I said to the Hero, "I'll be in the fridge."


The Princess would write more, but it is just too hot. All that can be done is to eat ice cream.