When is a fridge not a fridge?

This is the last installment of highlights from our visit to the historic home and craftsmen show. Next we will highlight our visit -- in the same building -- to the casino. Just kidding! Actually a casino does exist in the same building, but we did not visit it. We confess to being tempted, though. They had better food there than at the home show.


Q: What kind of refrigerator do you get for $7,000? 

A: A fridge that doesn't look like a fridge.

Of all the very interesting things we learned at a session on cabinets and kitchen makeovers, this is the fact that has stuck with us the most: that if one wishes, one can pay more for a refrigerator than, say, a car several times larger. 

This we learned from a gentleman whose appearance would lead one to believe that his chief profession is driving cross-country on a very large, impressive motorcycle. In actuality, he does kitchen renovations, crafting cabinets to look like distressed, antique furniture. Judging from the slide show he presented of his handiwork, he is very good, and judging from the number of kitchens he has outfitted with $7,000 refrigerators and other spiffy renovations, clearly his clients are not suffering from the poor economy.

The gentlemen himself owns such a refrigerator, and admitted that "when you write a check for seven grand for a fridge, your hand shakes a little."

The startling thing is, you cannot see most of these refrigerators. Many of his clients desire a "period" kitchen look, and in most periods of this nation's history, whole houses didn't even cost that much. So in an effort to appear "regular folk," the clients have their refrigerator completely framed in to appear as just part of the cabinet work, only three times the size.

In fact, pretty much everything in these kitchens he showed us is camouflaged, so that a one could be forgiven if one failed to locate the dishwasher in one's own kitchen, or was caught throwing trash into the pull-out freezer. We imagine that children growing up in such a home might be frightened upon entering another home in which the refrigerator is completely exposed; it would seem a foreign object to them, one perhaps with malevolent intentions. And young children would be completely confused when presented with a kindergarten entrance exam in which they are shown various pictures and asked to point to the refrigerator. 

"There is no refrigerator here," a child with a hidden refrigerator would say after perusing the choices.

"Doesn't know what a refrigerator is," the examiner would write on the child's chart. "Refer to remedial class."

Smaller kitchen appliances, too, are nowhere to be seen in many of these kitchens, but are cleverly concealed behind little trap doors on counters. A homeowner is likely to play some variation of "What's behind Door #1?" each morning.

I swooned over many of these photos, particularly the ones of kitchens with a primitive look. 

Eventually the cabinet man showed us a few pictures from his own house in Ohio...and also from his house in Virginia.

The Hero and I looked at each other. $7,000 fridges. At least two houses. It was looking more unlikely that our kitchen would ever receive a visit from this particular contractor, no matter how much I swooned over his cabinets.

At last we made our way home from the show. "What did you bring me?" our house, which is always wanting something new, demanded.

We looked in our bag of freebies. "Here's a brochure about windows. Or maybe you'd like to get a new gutter spout?"

Fortunately we did not have any brochures about $7,000 refrigerators or fancy cabinets. You know the house would be whining for them.