Where is spring?

According to sources that keep track of these things, spring is losing approximately one minute per year. These sources say that this minute is getting tacked on to summer, although we suspect that the lost minutes of each year's spring is actually being held at some undisclosed research location to see if it can be bottled into some sort of fresh-smelling household cleaning product. ("All-new bathroom spray--contains actual spring!")

As alarming as it is to be losing a bit of springtime, we personally are not unhappy to hear that winter is losing a half minute per year, although if this were to get out, it would certainly cause riots among skiers, etc.

This trend is expected to continue, due to various scientific reasons which we cannot begin to understand but which are probably being taught in our modern elementary schools. This means that our lucky descendants in the year 3500 will have a shorter winter to endure, 88.71 days, a whopping quarter of a day less than at present.

"Be grateful you didn't live back in 2013," parents will say gravely to their children in the future. "Great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandma had to live through winters that were 88.994 days long."

Winter, however, is not giving up its half minute without a fight. Today, in fact, with six days to go until Easter, in our particular location we are getting more snow than we've had all winter. 

So hurry up with that all-new, actual spring cleaning product!