Getting away from it all

Everyone wants to get away from it all, but when they do go away, they take it all with them. Along with the shorts, t-shirts, and sunscreen, they pack their Blackberries, laptops, important files, underwater fax machines, etc. They are just as accessible on vacation as they are at the office.

“This is great!” they say. “Now I won’t miss anything.”

But, in fact, they miss everything. They’re out on the ocean, on a whale watching tour, but they don’t see the whales because they are talking on the phone, lurching from one side of the boat to the other in an effort to get a better signal. Or they’re touring the great castles of Europe, cursing the builders for their ludicrous choice of location in the mountains, where one cannot easily find a fax machine.

In a hot air balloon, a guy is talking on his cell phone, missing the great view, when suddenly a bird swoops down and carries the phone off, mistaking it for—well, something more edible than a phone. And the people in the next balloon, who are gazing contentedly out over the valley, are suddenly startled by a bird landing on their basket and saying, “Lou? Are you there? I can’t hear you! Lou! Answer me!”

Americans take fewer vacations than workers in other countries. Is it any wonder? They just don’t come back relaxed when they do, so why bother? In fact, maybe companies should establish “Vacation Rooms,” where employees could hang out during their vacation time. The rooms would be onsite, so if anything came up they could just walk over to the office. There could even be a “Family Vacation Room,” with theme activities for the kids, games, 3-d movies of places they’ve always wanted to visit. People would be much more relaxed in the Vacation Room than on an actual vacation. And they wouldn’t have to pack anything—everything they needed would be right there.

Except the postcards.