Waiting for The Big Fight

"Have we ever had a Big Fight?" I asked my husband one evening.

"Well," he said tentatively, "there was that issue about the house for sale on Marcie Ct. that you liked..."

"Oh, that," I said. "I was a little upset, yes, but..."

"Yeah, I guess it wasn't really a fight," he agreed hastily.

We looked at each other. "Uh, oh," I said. "That means The Big Fight is coming."

We huddled under the computer desk in case The Big Fight decided to burst in on us right then and there. Perhaps we could just wait it out, let It rage around us.

"What do you think It will look like?" I whispered. "Maybe if we're prepared for It, It won't be so bad."

But he had no ideas to offer. "We'll just have to wait and see."

People think that "Prepare to die" are the three most frightening words. "Wait and see" are far worse.

"Maybe we should give It some chocolate," I said. "You know, put It in a good mood."

Being a man, he didn't think there was any merit in the chocolate suggestion. He keeps trying to tell me that chocolate doesn't solve everything. I tell him he should be very thankful to the person who discovered chocolate, because he would be pretty miserable if I didn't have my chocolate.

"I think we should just take It head on, show It we're not afraid of a little confrontation," he said confidently.

I thought it likely that It would be more than "a little confrontation," but I didn't say anything.

I noticed he was taking up more than his fair share under the desk. "Hey," I said, "move over. You're taking up too much space."

"I am not," he said. "Besides, you take all the covers at night."

"That's not my fault!" I said heatedly. "You --"

"Shhhh!" he whispered urgently. "I hear It coming!"

I had heard it too. I clutched him and then we sat as still as we could. We heard a confusing, static-y sound, as if thoughts were swirling angrily in Its head and It was searching for voices to let the thoughts out, but It didn't come any closer. Pretty soon we heard It receding.

We let out our breath. "Whew!" he said. "That was close!"

The Big Fight still hasn't come, but when It does, we'll be ready for It.