Further beach experiences

After all the excitement of the Parking Spot Search at the beach, which I outlined for you yesterday, our actual beach experience was a bit of a letdown. But we tried to have fun anyway. For instance, we sampled our way through the fine cuisines unique to the area, embarking on the "No Ice Cream Left Behind" tour, which included Dairy Queen, TCBY, and Cold Stone Creamery.

We did notice that in the north end of town, no one was playing the Parking Spot Search. This was odd considering that parking there was free and pretty abundant, but we were lucky enough to hear an educational talk given by a gas station attendant who had been in the area approximately since cars were first invented. He explained to us the complex relationship between higher gas prices and lower tourism rates and theorized that this was why there were no players in the Parking Spot Search in his end of town. We suspected it had more to do with the lack of tattoo establishments, but we didn't want to appear insensitive to his considerable body of wisdom.

Joe later declared that he is in favor of higher gas prices if it means fewer people to jostle at the beach. In fact, in November he plans to vote for the candidate who will do his best to keep tourists from being able to afford to go anywhere, except us.

Of course we did not spend our entire day at the beach eating ice cream and talking to gas station attendants. Joe also talked to a former policeman collecting money for charity at the local SuperFresh. If you've ever wondered if these people are somehow not quite not legitimate, wonder no more. This guy was pretty much there to tell people how to beat the Parking Spot Search scam. His best tip was to park at the police station, which was empty because the cops were all at the tattoo establishments at the other end of town, keeping an eye on things and, occasionally, getting a tattoo themselves. We know this tip was legal, because the guy was, after all, a former policeman.

And of course we managed to save some time to lie on the beach and go in the water. Well, Joe went in the water. Personally, I think the ocean is merely backdrop for napping in the sand. It is much too cold and icky to actually swim in. I did, however, admire one kid's technique on a boogie board. "Now that's how I like to surf," I said to Joe as we watched him.

"How's that?" Joe asked.

"On land."

There wasn't too much time left to enjoy either sand or water after setting up our umbrella, laying our towels strategically to catch the greatest amount of sun (me) or the least amount (Joe), spreading on 150 sunscreen so we do not spend our twilight years wishing we hadn't spent all that time baking in the sun, finding the perfect book to read out of the 173 we brought, deciding which snack from two coolers to start with, etc. So of course we'll go back again. After all, we didn't manage to hit Baskin Robbins.