The vacation cycle

People have different approaches to planning a vacation. Some use the spontaneous method, wherein they spin a globe around and poke their finger somewhere on it, and that is where they go right then, even if it is the town right next door. Other people plan their dream vacation for years, only to find that their destination -- an exotic island in the Pacific -- was wiped out in Hurricane Attila the Hun and no longer exists. Some people, such as my parents, have given up taking trips altogether because it is too much trouble to actually go anywhere, and they have decided that it is much more fun to watch the neighbors out the window and gossip about where they are going.

We personally are very regimented in planning and taking a vacation. We generally go through three stages:

During the Pre-trip Stage, which lasts from the beginning of discussions about the trip to the moment we get in the car to leave, Joe expresses his excitement about the trip in this manner:
1. I don't want to go.
2. I don't have time to go.
3. Why are we going?

Of course, I am supportive during this phase. I smile, ignore his protests, and plan the trip anyway.

During the Embarking Stage, which begins immediately upon pulling away from the house and lasts until we arrive at our destination, he experiences apparent amnesia of his initial reluctance:
1. I'm so glad I suggested we take this vacation!

I generously refrain from reminding him of his earlier resistance. Sometimes.

During the Preparing for Going Home Stage -- which lasts pretty much the rest of the trip -- Joe begins to mentally prepare for reentering our normal, daily lives:
1. I don't want to go home.
2. I don't want to go home.
3. I don't want to go home.
4. Can we move here?
5. I don't want to go home.

And I smile, ignore his protests, and begin planning for the next Vacation Cycle.

Sometimes, as in the case of our most recent trip -- which was the first since our trips to the farm and pumpkin patch in our kindergarten days, it seemed -- we just skip the first two stages and go right to stage 3, even before we've left home. Who knows? Maybe sometime we'll even try the globe method.