The Prissy Princess is attacked

The Hero relaxed peacefully. Here, in his secret chamber on the upper level of the castle, he was truly monarch. There was no one to interrupt his reading, no one to summon him for acts of duty, no one to --

"Excuse me," the Prissy Princess called politely from the bottom of the stairs, "I don't wish to disturb you, dearest, but do you have any immediate plans to return downstairs?"

The Hero sighed. There was only one reason the Princess would disturb him in his secret chamber. "How big is it?" he called.

"How big is what?"

"Whatever it is you want me to kill."

"Oh. Well, there is a bit of a situation here...."

He waited.

"It's...big," she said finally.

"Okay," he said, trying to speak patiently, "get a flyswatter --"

"We don't have a flyswatter that big," she interrupted.

"-- and just give the thing a good whack."

He heard her retreat, then there was silence for a few minutes. When he heard her return to the foot of the stairs, he said, "Well? Did you do what I told you?"

"Well, I opened the door for it," she said, "but it doesn't seem to be taking the hint."

He sighed again. "Did you at least try to coax it out with the flyswatter?"

"Um, I would have to get too close to it to do that."

"I see. And exactly how close did you get to it?"

"Well, I'm not very good at estimating great distances."

He tried to reassure her. "You know, you're much bigger than whatever it is."

"Well, see, I've never really believed that size had anything to do with it," she said.

Really, the Hero thought, the Prissy Princess could be very trying at times.

He reluctantly left his refuge and went down the stairs. There, the Princess, evidently believing that he was not going to offer any physical assistance, was advancing bravely toward the creature, her weapon held high. It was sitting complacently on the wall, ignoring the open door below. She took aim at it.

Suddenly the Princess -- completely forgetting that she was holding a weapon and that she was a lot bigger than the creature -- was running, screaming, with the creature flying haphazardly in apparent pursuit, although it could have been sheer luck that it was headed in her direction. Seeing that she was not going to stop, the Hero quickly moved aside, and she flung the flyswatter at him as she passed. "Run for your life!" she screamed. "It's after us!"

But the creature merely returned to the wall above the door, where the Hero, flyswatter in hand, expertly maneuvered it outdoors and quickly shut the door. He turned toward the Princess, who was slowly reentering the room.

"Is it gone?" she said, looking around furtively, as if it might come after her again.

"It's gone."

"Well, if you know what's good for you," she said haughtily, "you will not laugh."

But she could see that it was too late.

She sighed. Really, she thought, the Hero was sometimes very trying.