Goal zzzzz-etting

I recently allowed myself to be talked into listening to a certain motivational book, one of those popular tomes that basically has about three points to make but takes 563 pages (7 years' listening time) to do so. It is a good thing I am not in charge of editing these things, because they would all be about half a page long, including the title page and index, and instead of enjoying fame and fortune, the authors would all be working normal, everyday jobs like the rest of us.

This is not to say that these books are not helpful. One day Joe asked how things were progressing with my motivational pursuits. "Great," I said. "I've already printed out a positive reminder to keep me motivated." I pointed to the sign above my computer that said Not every day is perfect.

"That's not motivating," he said. "That's depressing."

Motivational Principle #3: Do not allow others to negatively influence you.

"Don't try to negatively influence me!" I said. "To some of us that is a perfectly liberating, motivating idea."

So here, gleaned from the pages of several books of motivational wisdom, is what I've learned so far about self-motivation and achieving one's goals. Maybe they'll help you, too. If so, please send me money.

1. Think of some goals. If you can't think of any, ask someone else who seems to be fairly successful what their goals are. Then ask if they will achieve them for you, too.

2. Remember that your goals should be realistic and attainable, meaning "really, really low." For instance, a good goal to work toward might be Get up every morning. But your goals should also be challenging, such as Get up every morning BEFORE I am due at work.

3. Come up with a mantra and repeat it to yourself throughout the day. In the example we have given, you might tell yourself, "Get up, get up, get up" repeatedly, over and over again, until it puts you to sleep, which puts you in an excellent position to practice your goal of getting up.

4. Surround yourself with people who can help you achieve your goals. Ideally, these would be people who give you large amounts of money on a regular basis. If money is not your goal, and you have started with something more simple, such as getting up every morning, discuss this with your spouse. He or she will probably be all too happy to help you, most likely in the form of some physical assistance.

5. It may be necessary, in the pursuit of your goal, to sacrifice some things that do not help you reach your goal. For instance, to my knowledge there is no correlation between successfully getting out of bed in the morning and doing housework, so why waste your valuable time on cleaning? The same could be said for taking out the trash and many other household tasks. Of course it is necessary to make time for the things that are really important, such as quality time with your spouse, quality time with your kids, quality time with chocolate, quality time with "Lost," etc.

6. The key to reaching your goals is persistence. You must keep trying over and over again, even in the face of failure. In our example, this might mean going to bed numerous times during the day so that you can practice getting up. Reward yourself by staying in bed longer each time.

7. Speaking of rewards, remember to reward yourself for any progress toward your goals. In fact, Joe and I like to reward ourselves before we make any progress toward our goals, just in case no such progress occurs. This could be very discouraging, so it's important to take those rewards whenever you can get them.

8. Don't get discouraged if you don't see much progress. Change sometimes comes slowly, so don't beat yourself over the head if you just can't seem to get up in the mornings. Your boss, or kids, or cat, will be more than happy to do this for you.