The year-round Christmas

I'm sure you have noticed that the Christmas season seems to be starting earlier each year. If not, either you are living in an extremely isolated locale, or you are dead.

The rest of us are expected to have already begun our Christmas shopping; put up the tree and outdoor lights; taken the family's annual Christmas picture; bought, signed, sealed, and stamped our Christmas cards; and have seven dozen cookies in the freezer ready to give away. Ideally, these things should have been done by Halloween, so that you would have plenty of time to focus on the things that matter most at this season, such as making sure that the homemade gifts you are putting together are better than your sister's.

Now, I can understand that in cold locations, which to me includes pretty much every place on earth except maybe Tahiti, people may not want to wait too far into the season to put up their outdoor Christmas lights. In Michigan, for instance, people routinely take advantage of a warm day to put up their lights. This year the warm day was July 3rd, so people are a bit tired of their outdoor decorations by now, but unfortunately they have to wait for another warm day to take them down, which may not occur until after the snow melts next August.

There are always a few holdouts in Michigan and other cold places who do not put up their lights until December. These individuals account for a substantial number of emergency room visits each year, their fingers frozen to the ladder, a string of lights trailing behind them as they seek help. To ease the burden these thoughtless people put on the health care system, eventually there may be a state law making it illegal for anyone to put up outdoor lights after a certain date. To make it easier for everyone to remember when this date is, they could make it the same as the school cutoff date: By August 1 you must be 5 to enter kindergarten, and by August 1 you must have your Christmas lights up.

Usually I am quite behind in the rush to get ready for Christmas, but not this year. This year I am getting my act together early. In fact, I'm way ahead of a lot of people. I've already eaten all my Christmas cookies.