Cleanliness is next to...last on the list

Let us have a brief moment of silence for our departed maple tree, which was carried away last week by Tree Men with saws, and for the surrounding plants and flowers, which were trampled by the Tree Men, AND for our neighbor's plants, which were not able to escape the onslaught either despite holding up little signs saying "Please don't hurt us." And let us also remember our decorative wooden ladder, which thanks to the Tree Men ended the day in more pieces than when it began.


Both yards, covered with tree shavings, now appear as if they have suffered through a severe sand storm. Our yard seems to be cursed with such sand storms, having experienced one when our new drywall and subflooring sat on the patio for a while, just long enough to leave a fine covering of shavings on all the plants.


We have had a lot of work done on our house and yard lately, and this work can generally be broken down into three distinct phases:


1. People come to our house to make some alleged improvement. (duration: 1 day to 16 weeks)
2. I clean up after their improvements. (duration: the life of the house mortgage)
3. (Repeat step 1.)


The one exception to this cycle was the contractor who worked on our family room, whom we will refer to as "Dale," that being his actual name, or at least the name we wrote the check out to. By some magical process unknown to most contractors -- called "cleaning" -- Dale never left behind a mess after his work day. We would come home, look around, and, based on the fact that nothing was dirty or out of place, decide that maybe Dale had not been there that day. Then we would notice something small, such as that a brick wall had been completely covered over in new drywall, and we would realize that perhaps Dale had been there after all, and had waved some magic wand to make all the mess go away. 


I have to wonder whether Dale is that tidy in his own home. I hinted broadly to someone who lives in our house that this habit of cleaning up after one's project was a thing to be emulated, but I was conveniently ignored. Whenever he undertakes a project, there are also three distinct phases involved:


1. The Hero hauls out a great number of tools and materials, and proceeds to cover as large an area as possible with them.
2. The Princess sees the mess and faints.
3. The Hero and Princess call Dale.


Ha! Of course we do not call Dale after we make a mess. But -- sigh -- it might be nice.