We encounter a problem

As you are no doubt aware, we here at Indecision Inc. have been attempting to choose a sofa, and by the looks of things space exploration will be well advanced by the time we actually do. Other Earthlings will be choosing furnishings for their second home on Mars, and we will still be debating the merits of the Little Bunny Foo-Foo fabric for our present home.


But now a terrifying new thought has suddenly hit us: What if the sofa that we THINK we want doesn't fit through the door?


We are well acquainted with things not fitting into our house, which was apparently built at a time when all household furnishings could just be rolled up and fit through a crack in the outside wall. When the moving men attempted to fit our antique typewriter desk through the front door, they told us gravely that they would have to amputate one of its legs, or leave it out on the sidewalk. Without even the benefit of anesthesia -- for me -- they whacked off one of the legs near the middle of the desk, and the desk managed to squeeze through. We never even bothered to put the leg back on, and the desk has adjusted to its handicap courageously and with great dignity.


But to cut off one leg of a sofa might present more difficulties, such as that those who are sitting on it would all be piled up at the lower end. Or we could decide to shorten all the legs equally, and make a Sofa for Vertically Challenged People. This could have some advantages, the chief one being that my feet could actually touch the floor when I sit in it.


But the Hero would prefer to keep the sofa intact, and so he made a prototype of a very convincing sofa-like object to see if we could simulate the sofa fitting through the doorway. This prototype consisted of two sticks arranged in a T-shape, somewhat like a divining rod, and after much measuring and maneuvering the sticks through the doorway in a manner resembling the movements of tai chi, we came to the very definite, scientific conclusion that a) the sofa might fit or b) it might not.


Then, deciding to assume that the actual result would be option a), we tested the prototype IN the room to see how it might fit with the existing furniture. Even with our crude device, it was apparent that the only other thing that would fit in the room with this sofa would be: a plant. On the windowsill.


"Maybe we should just get matching footstools," the Hero suggested.


So as we begin the process of choosing an item of seating all over again, we console ourselves with the thought that perhaps we don't have to give up entirely on this sofa. It might look nice in our second home on Mars someday.