Dear Beverly,
We received your kind e-mail letting us know that our extended absence from our local Y has been noticed. It is touching to know that we are missed by the "family." It is true that they have not seen us there for some time, as we do try to keep as low a profile as possible, including ducking down inside the car when we have to drive by the front of your establishment.
You are so right when you say that it is easy to let life get in the way of exercising. We have definitely noticed that our time is taken up by such important things as watching movies, shopping, reading important news sources such as the Onion, "smelling the roses," etc. -- which leaves us, as you can well imagine, very little time for exercising.
You used several terms in your e-mail that were somewhat concerning to us: doing aerobic exercise, increasing respiration, building endurance, etc. Really, is it completely necessary to alarm your members with images of pain and suffering in this manner? And by using all those action verbs with "ing" on the end, like walking, running, swimming? Wouldn't it be better to entice them with talk of relaxation, yoga, comfy couches, coffee break areas, massage, and so on? Frankly, we think you would have better luck with this method.
You mention that you, and the whole Y family, would like to help us "get more into a routine" and get on track with our health and well-being. That sounds great, Beverly, but we were just wondering, did you have something in mind that would not involve getting all sweaty and tired and risking injury to various parts of our body? If so, by all means, sign us up for that.
We were a little perplexed regarding your observation that when you, personally, are out of the habit of exercising, you find that you do not feel as great as you could be feeling. We highly recommend our own remedies for this, which would include many of those things mentioned in a previous paragraph, plus things like eating ice cream, getting whipped cream and sprinkles on your triple grande Salted Caramel Mocha, putting off 'til tomorrow what you don't want to do today, etc. Beverly, if we can be of any service to you in these matters, we sincerely hope you will contact us. We would be only too glad to help.
You mentioned how beneficial it is to get one's body moving, and urged us to do this. We couldn't agree more, Beverly, and that's why, after we send this e-mail, we are heading right to the kitchen to indulge in some chocolate cake. That ought to get our respiration up! We'll be sure to take the long way there.
Sincerely,
Two Backslidden (but Happy) Members
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