Old news in a new way

I have been contemplating stopping delivery of our daily newspaper, for good, for several reasons. For one, as has been lamented before in this blog, one can almost find more news, and better reporting, in a second-grade student report on the class gerbil.


Another reason, not unrelated to the first, is that on many days the paper goes directly from the front walk, into the house, and back out to the front walk unread and still neatly folded, to be borne away and given a new life as some other product -- and deservedly so, as it never had a first life in our house. We are contemplating telling the delivery person to just save us a few steps, and put the newspaper right into recycling.


Another reason for wanting to cancel the paper is that these days, of course, there are plenty of other outlets, many free, by which we can get the news. For me, a major outlet is one that I do not even need to subscribe to: strangers on the train who feel compelled to share random bits of information with me.


Last week a gentleman sitting next to me on the train was reading The Washington Post, and I, at the time, was NOT reading The Washington Post. This quickly changed. Suddenly he turned to me and said, "You need to drink more coffee."


The newspaper moved closer to me, and a finger jabbed at a box of text on the page. The box announced, in large type, that a new study showed that women who drink several cups of coffee a day are less likely to experience depression. 


I quickly ran through likely scenarios of why he thought I needed to know this, and came up with:


a) I look tired, and therefore must not be drinking much coffee
b) I look depressed
c) I look tired and depressed


Clearly, having the news delivered this way, by an impartial observer, has some advantages over more traditional news delivery methods. As this example shows, it can cause you to think critically about how the news pertains to you personally. It also offers the opportunity for thoughtful discussion of important topics with other persons, such as "Why do you think I would need to know this? Huh?? Do I look tired? Do I look depressed??" etc.


A co-worker had evidently heard about the same study, although she seems to have come across it on her own, without help from any strangers who thought she might not be getting enough stimulants. The finding did not seem to her to have much practical value for women who were already depressed.


"If you're depressed," she said, "you don't want to get out of bed. If you don't get out of bed, you can't get coffee. How are these depressed women supposed to get their coffee? Is someone supposed to BRING it to them in bed? And then stand there and make them drink it?"


The Hero's reaction upon hearing the study findings was quite different, and yet equally analytical. If I recall correctly, it was something like, "Well, duh."


To him the findings are yet one more proof that coffee is "Humankind's Best Friend" (trademark pending). He firmly believes that it will rank throughout history as one of the world's greatest inventions, right up there with the polio vaccine and Google. As to the concern that already depressed women would not be able to get out of bed to start on their medical regimen of coffee, he says, "Pfft" (loosely paraphrased). "What other reason is there to get out of bed in the morning?"


For some of us, it's to get our news on the train.