In which we are entertained

The other night while dining out with friends, we enjoyed some delightful free entertainment by a lovely young female. She roamed around the covered patio where we were sitting, stopping at various tables to chat, dance, and amuse patrons. She spent quite a bit of time at our own table. Everyone was enthralled with her. When we were finished with dinner, we scooped her up and took her home with us. 


This is not our typical behavior toward an entertainer in a restaurant, but as she was our friends' two-year-old daughter, Jaz, we were pretty sure we shouldn't leave her at the restaurant. (Although I'm sure the staff would have been willing to keep her on.)


Jaz had expected everyone else to be as friendly as she was, and in general this was the case, until she dug into the chips and salsa on the table. There followed a pained look on her face, as if she could not fathom why the salsa, which she evidently had expected to be somewhat like ketchup, could turn on her and make her mouth burn. But this quickly turned to pleasure, and she dug in for more, using the occasion to decorate the table with liberal amounts of the red goopy stuff.


In her travels around the restaurant, Jaz had a brief romance with a young male at another table. Ultimately, however, he showed a preference for Jaz's mother. ("He does like older women," the young man's mother explained.) For being rejected by this potential love AND betrayed by the salsa, Jaz was remarkably unaffected.


Once we were all back at our home, the Hero very unfortunately used the word "toy." Jaz immediately picked up the refrain: "Toy? Toy?"


The Hero looked at me. "YOU told her we had toys," I said. "YOU get to find some."


With a sense of urgency befitting the situation, the Hero scoured our home for something that could, with some imagination, be considered a toy. He returned with a pair of small stuffed bears, dressed as a bride and groom, that my mother had given me when we got married. I pointedly noted that he had NOT brought down his own beloved teddy, which he has kept from the days of his youth, and which sits on a bookshelf in the library.


"He's kind of gross," he said. "He's got a raisin stuck to his knee."


We all agreed it was best to leave Teddy where he was.


After losing interest in the bears, Jaz roamed around looking for other objects of interest. She discovered that when she turned the handle on our potbellied gas stove, it produced a squeak that made all the adults put their hands over their ears and make funny faces. She therefore continued to turn the squeaky handle until her mother lured her away with some treats, and the adults breathed a sigh of relief.


Later Jaz held an impromptu sleepover on the floor, dragging the pillows off the couch and adding her own blanket. The bride and groom bears were invited to this event, as was Richard Scarry's Lowly Worm, whom she discovered on the desk. She was of the opinion, later in the evening, that Lowly Worm really, really wanted to come home with her, but after much persuasion she agreed to leave him in the pencil holder, where he would at least have some company amidst other tall, thin objects.


Jaz's mother informed us that Jaz would soon be having a birthday. "When is your birthday?" her mother prompted. 


"May ewevenf," she said around her pacifier.


"And how old are you going to be?"


"Too much!" she said happily.


"I think you mean two years," her mother said.


The distinction puzzled Jaz, but she quickly moved on to what was going to happen on her birthday. When prompted, she replied that there would be cake, and candles, and singing.


"And what are you going to open?" her mom asked.


"PWESENTS!" she said jubilantly.


Then, just in case she had somehow misunderstood, and TODAY was her birthday, she ran to her mother's purse to look inside for presents. She was clearly disappointed when told it was NOT her birthday.


When it was time for them to leave, Jaz bestowed hugs and cheerful goodbyes on us. She seemed to have a good time, but I'm sure that behind her pacifier she was thinking, "They SERIOUSLY need some toys."