I am just finishing up a 10-week course in humor writing. I've really learned a lot. For instance, I've learned that my writing stinks. Of course, the instructor did not come out and say this, but we writer wannabes understand instructors' little code words for these things. "This piece was light on humor" means you'd better not give up your day job. "This piece has no humor" means it would be better for all if you just retired to a deserted little island somewhere to spend out the remainder of your miserable, pointless days.
Poor Joe has had to put up with my frequently contradictory complaints about the class, assignments, and instructor. "We have to write 500 words about that?" "How does he expect me to write only 500 words about this topic?" "I wish he would give more specific feedback." "I want to know how I'm doing overall!" "Why doesn't he say how brilliant my writing is?" "I want him to be completely honest. I don't think he's being honest." "What did he mean, the ending was flat?!! It was a perfect ending!" "He said he liked the ending, but I think he was just being nice."
I also learned something during this course that had nothing to do with writing humor. I learned a key difference between men and women (besides the toilet seat issue, which I'm happy to say is not an issue in our house, not since I quoted to Joe a statistic about how far germs are spread by flushing). We women tend to complain that others do not give us enough strokes. That person's too blunt! we say. Too negative! Why can't he be more encouraging? We need some affirmation here!
But when I would share these sentiments with Joe, specifically about my writing instructor, he put a different spin on the instructor's perceived deficiencies. Don't take offense at the criticism. Learn from it. Use it to spur you on to write better.
This is how he reacts to criticism, to negative feedback. He does not crawl in a hole, pull his knees up to his chest, and feel sorry for himself.
I must say this was a revolutionary thought for me. Oh, once in a while I am able to recognize that criticism might, just might, have some truth to it. But first, I have to go crawl in that hole and feel sorry for myself.
It was hard to keep myself out of the hole during the class. I kept muttering to myself things like: Learn from it. It'll make you a better writer. Resist the urge to tear the instructor's head off.
I am sure Joe is relieved that the class is ending, and happy there is no Advanced Humor Writing. But just wait until I start sending stuff out for publication and getting rejections. We may have to make that hole big enough for two.
3 comments:
From one women to another,I LOVE your writing.....(and I'm not just saying that because we are related!)
I find you to be a finely "honed" and a clever writer.........very polished.....you use your words well, and the reader can easily feel, smell, hear and see your stories. "Stories" isn't an adequate word here, more like little "gems" of your life, brought out of the inner you into the open (very brave of you) to glisten like a precious stone.
Okay, Mike would tell me I am too flowery. But I think that is their way of really saying, "Wish I could do that!" Besides how else we gonna help guys "smell the roses!"
And 2nd point to be made here; men and women are SO DIFFERENT about emotions and tender feelings. They are about facts, problems, solving problems, closing the book on the problems and moving on to the next problem.
Women like to internalize problems, meditate on them, hash it, rehash it, tell 5 other women about it, rehash it again, then let it all out in a melodic stream of verbage. (I think our way is much better).
Last but not least the "biggest point" is that I have truly enjoyed reading your stories. I feel like I have gotten to know you better and bonded as I realize we share some of the same sentiments about lifes little musings!
Carry on...........and please don't stop writing. What does your instructor know anyway?
Just remember, Elvis Presley was told not to quit his truck driving job, cause he would never make it as a singer.
Thomas Kinkaid was criticized and discouraged to continue painting in the the way he was.
Einstein was a horrible student.
Michael Jackson wasn't good enough to make his high school basketball team.
So to all you men, look at the facts here and just accept it.........Women Rock!
Love your writings, and by all means quit your day job and keep writing......Cissy
The true critics are those people who day after day, look for your stories. Your tales paint a picture in my thoughts and bring smiles and sometimes great outburst of laughter. Don't ever be discouraged, because of one person's opinion. More importantly, don't let anyone change your writing style. I applaud you and thank you for making my day a little brighter, with your more than "slightly humorous" stories about your life.
Ladies, thank you for your uplifting comments and support for my writing! All of you readers (with the possible exception of the wild animals of MD, who seem a bit over the edge) are a big reason I keep writing these "gems"...
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