Many of you loyal readers enjoy this blog because, I suppose, you find yourselves in need of some slight humor in your lives. Or possibly because you are bored beyond bearing at work. But most of you probably do not realize that this blog also attracts individuals who are searching for some deep meaning in their lives. Of course, once they read four lines of anything I have written, they quickly realize they are in the wrong place, and they are never heard from again. But we can learn a lot from the issues that people are interested in by examining the search terms they use to get here, and so I'd like to share some examples of the important issues that have led desperately seeking individuals, almost like a beacon, to this blog.
First, bananas. This topic consistently ranks in the top five (out of a recorded six) search terms for this blog. One individual was interested in knowing about "bananas -- humorous importance in our life." Now this is a subject that I personally feel has long been neglected in our society. No one talks about how vital bananas are to our sense of humor, other than as a gag for making someone slip on a peel. Like so many other issues in our society, people feel safer with the surface humor of the banana and are unwilling to engage in deeper dialogue about it. It is encouraging that at least one person recognizes the potential for long-term happiness that bananas offer.
More than one reader, however, appears to be convinced that there is a connection between bananas and headaches. All I know is, I rarely eat bananas, but I sure get a lot of headaches. Perhaps these people are searching for bananas as a cure for headaches.
Many people look to this blog for guidance in how to communicate complex, vital thoughts in other languages. Several, for instance, have searched for how to say "I don't like to sing in Spanish," possibly as a way of getting out of a bad date. Another individual searched for "excuse me in Chinese." I'm thinking this person really messed up while visiting China, as Americans are so wont to do when abroad, or perhaps with the parents of a new girlfriend, in which case "I hang my head in shame and will never again attempt to see your daughter" might be a more appropriate phrase.
Some readers are clearly dissatisfied with their life in some way, often their looks. One search term revealed a desperate cry that "I wish I had the tongue of an okapi." Throughout the ages many other people have expressed this same longing, but it has never been recorded that any human possessed a tongue so long and rough that it could double as a back scrubber. My heart goes out to readers such as this one, for, as many of you know, this blog assiduously refrains from offering any practical advice.
Today I have been able to give you only a glimpse of what people out there are looking for when they visit this blog. I have much more to share, so tune in next week. Also, if anyone comes across a banana cure for headaches, please let me know.
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