WARNING: Today's post contains sensitive, even controversial, information about vegetables. If you are a vegetarian, or one of those people who faithfully consumes your recommended 73.6 servings of vegetables a day, or whatever it is now -- I notice they are always raising the daily allowance of fruits and vegetables, but never of ice cream -- you are strongly encouraged to do something other than read this blog. Unfortunately I have no suggestions of what.
Now, everyone knows that broccoli is a vegetable. Well, different vegetables come from different parts of a plant. Broccoli happens to come from the flower part of the plant. So (follow me closely here),
a) Broccoli is a flower.
And what is a flower?
b) A flower is the reproductive part of the plant.
Do you know what this means?
When you eat broccoli, you are eating a reproductive organ.
The same pretty much goes for cauliflower, which appears to be albino broccoli. In fact, with cauliflower, they didn't even attempt to disguise the fact that it is a flower. Artichokes are also flowers, which doesn't surprise me. Anything with a name that ugly has got to have some pretty severe issues.
But amazingly, we are openly encouraged, in the name of good nutrition, to consume these reproductive vegetable organs. We receive dire warnings about the irregularities of hot dogs, yet we are not told the truth about broccoli and its other flower counterparts. And nowhere do you hear the presidential candidates talking about this issue, although I'm pretty sure it is discussed somewhere in the Old Testament ("Thou shalt not eat reproductive organs").
But why stop with flowers? Fruits and seeds are also part of the reproductive area of the plant. It's time to write your Congressman about this issue! Or woman. Ask him, or her, where he/she stands on the broccoli vs. hot dog issue. But be warned: Most of our elected officials want to stay as far as possible from this one. They would rather discuss things like education.
Now, I'm not trying to sway anyone away from eating broccoli or cauliflower or artichokes. Now that you have the facts, it's up to you what you do with them. I'm just saying.
As for me and my house, we will stick with carrots. And ice cream, although not necessarily together.
5 comments:
Have you heard about the hitman named Arty? For a dear friend, he agreed to off some guy for just $1. However, when completing the hit by strangulation, his method of choice, Arty was spotted by a couple of witnesses and had to "take care of" them, too. He was caught, however, and the headlines the next day screamed, "Arty chokes three for $1!"
Is this part of the plot of your new book?
You mention the "irregularities of hot dogs" - but just try to remember the irregularities that occur when one does not eat one's vegies... :)
This must be why eating vegies shrinks the brain.
Now THERE'S a research finding I can go for.
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