In our future: a softer derriere

We had a moment of crisis in doing our taxes -- who doesn't? -- which involved some debate over whether taxes were due on the 15th or the 16th, but that is all cleared up. Now we are eagerly awaiting our tax refund, which by our calculations should pay for a new sofa. Of course, our calculations may be tragically way off. We may receive a letter from the IRS declaring that "We regret that you did not really earn the large tax refund indicated on your return. Our calculations show that, instead, we will be confiscating your house."

For some time now, we have been engaged in the process of finding a new sofa, some of which has been chronicled in this blog. We are oddly reluctant to save methodically for the sofa we want, preferring instead to magically find some windfall that will pay for it in one fell swoop. Not being lottery players, we must look for other, creative, methods of procuring the exact amount we need. Befriending someone with a philanthropic bent, who is interested in bestowing fine furniture upon two deserving homeowners, comes to mind. So far no individual meeting this description has come forward.

I was asked at work if I was interested in doing some freelance work on the side. Naturally I talked this over with Joe and sought his advice, by which I mean I told him that I was not interested in doing it. Being a careful person and -- more critically -- a man, he thought this over and then said, "Would it be enough to pay for the sofa?"

We did do some calculations on this, and when it became apparent that the extra funds would not entirely pay for the sofa, even Joe lost interest in the freelance proposition.

He has been urging me to pursue more opportunities for writing on the Web, rather than looking to be published in print, he being of the print-is-dead-or-soon-will-be camp. When I told him how much one prominent print publication pays for humor articles, however, he heartily encouraged me to send something to them ASAP. He did some quick figuring and said, "About 3.5 articles should cover the sofa."

But now, with that one sweet eureka moment that occurred with the realization of our tax windfall, all thoughts of doing any work to save for the sofa have been crowded out by one expectation: Buying our sofa before the IRS decides that we added wrong.