Let it all hang out

April sure has had its share of exciting celebrations. First, of course, we had Easter, which commemorates not only the Lord's resurrection but also the miracle of spring, which in many locales refers to the miracle of little flower heads poking out through the snow. If we really wanted to celebrate the miracle of spring, we would all sign a petition to move Easter to the end of May.

But then we had Tax Day, which a certain member of this household mistakenly believed had been moved to April 16th, causing a flurry of TurboTax activity to occur. Tax Day this year was also Tea Party Day, in which some members of society intended to protest the current economic policies by having Tea Parties and dressing up like colonial villagers and throwing their mortgage brokers overboard. I opted fora more sedate celebration of Tea Party Day, which included a nice cup of Earl Grey and maybe a scone or two.

With all that excitement hardly behind us, we now wait with breathless anticipation for National Hanging Out Day, which is Sunday the 19th. But wait! Before you get too breathless and start looking for friends to hang out with, you should know that Hanging Out Day refers to your clean laundry.

We are encouraged by the good people of Project Laundry List to eschew modern, time-saving, energy-wasting technology such as clothes dryers and return to a more natural way of drying our clothes, the way of our foremothers: on a clothesline spread across the yard, with all our underwear displayed for the neighbors to gawk at and guess what size it is.

Not only would this help us save money, it would help save the environment, too. We have a whole generation, or two, of people who have never experienced that warm, cozy feeling you get from underwear that has been sun- and breeze-dried until it is so stiff it makes you walk like a cowboy who has been in the saddle a little too long. These poor souls do not know what it is like to go to bed at night on bedsheets that smell like...smoke from the neighbor's grill. Of course, Project Laundry LIst would probably frown on grills, too -- at least the gas ones -- preferring instead an open fire pit.

Another benefit of Hanging Out, say its proponents, is that it would bring neighbors together. No doubt they are thinking of such neighborly activities as placing bets on which decade Mrs. Smythe's underwear was manufactured in. In the middle of the winter neighbors could help each other after they have slipped and fallen on the ice while trying to get the frozen-stiff clothes inside.

There are some residential areas in which it is not permissible to Hang Out. Our neighborhood is apparently not one of them. I have read that when one is decorating one's house, one should take inspiration from the outdoors, and either "match it" or "surrender to it so as not to clash." I believe the writer here was speaking of those select few who have views of things like oceans, or perhaps majestic mountains, from their home. In our case, we must surrender to Strawberry Shortcake, whose features grace the sheets displayed prominently on the fence across the street in the warmer weather.

My mother would love National Hanging Out Day. Her neighborhood, possibly foreseeing several years ago that airing one's laundry outdoors might make a comeback, outlawed fences, thereby removing one necessary feature for such airing. This in no way deterred my mother, who made liberal use of the deck railing, pine trees, hapless squirrels, etc. for hanging her wet laundry.

So let us search our hearts and do what we know is right. For me, that means on National Hanging Out Day I will be...just hanging out, gazing at Strawberry Shortcake.