The Oella Olympics continue

Today we continue our look at the Oella Olympics, a lesser known but just as exciting event occurring concurrently with the Winter Olympics in Vancouver, although with athletes who are slightly less in shape, and with a timeline that is promising to stretch into late summer. Highlighted today is the event known as...

Free Your Car from the Snow

This event draws all residents of the area, and early in the competition more resembled a reality show in which participants, if they wanted to continue providing food for their household, were forced to leave their warm, cozy houses and dig their vehicles out from under the approximately 139 inches of snow brought in especially for this event.

To begin the competition, officials spin competitors around several times, point them vaguely in the direction of a snow pile, and order them to begin digging. Competitors have no idea whether it is their car under a particular snow pile, or indeed whether there is a car under the snow pile, but this is all part of the challenge.

Most participants are restricted to hand tools for this event, although by some trick of nature participants discover, part way through the competition, that their largest shovels have mysteriously transformed into the tiny plastic shovels used by children at the beach, and are about as effective.

In addition to digging out their car, participants vie for places to put the snow as they do so, with extra points being awarded to those who are able to build up a snow pile without having it fall back onto their car. Points are deducted, however, if a participant attempts to sneak some snow onto a neighbor's snow pile.

Special prizes are awarded to contestants who leave their car snowbound the longest, making this one of the longest-lasting events in the Games. Joe's car was stuck for an impressive 11 days, although this is by no means a record. Officials expect that some vehicles will only be freed of snow in the final days of Armageddon.

The long-standing tradition of belly-flopping onto a finished snowbank cannot be resisted by some competitors (one of whom may be known as Joe) after finishing the event. This practice, however, is frowned upon by spouses, especially when the belly flop results in the complete undoing of the spouse's hard work of building up the snow pile. In at least one case, this has given the spouse (who may be known as Holly) grounds to begin a snowball fight.

There is always debate over what to do with the snow accumulated from this event, and this year some of it is being consumed by a "snow eater," a machine brought in from Canada that melts the snow and delivers it to the sewer system. Secretly, however, much of the snow is being diverted to New England, where residents reportedly "welcome the snow, as a lack of it has kept people from enjoying winter activities such as sledding and skiing."

The participants of the Oella Olympics wish them all the snow they want.