The Snow Race

There was the Space Race. There was the Arms Race. And now there is the Snow Race.

People in Moscow, perhaps a teeny, tiny bit jealous over all the publicity the eastern part of the U.S. has gotten lately because of record snows, set out to break some snow records of their own. We will show those Americans how to do snow, they probably huffed into their beards. (Editorial note: Here it was my intention to use the Russian word for beard, but several online translation services less than helpfully provided only the Russian spelling of the word, which pretty much looks like "We have no idea what this is and cannot guarantee that it is even a word.")

So, in the Russian style of doing things big, Muscovites ordered up a big snowstorm. A 4-day blizzard. Wind. And in 4 days they got...a whopping 26 inches of snow.

Really, that's the best they can do? 4 days, and they could only come up with 26 inches of snow? The Muscovites are really slacking. Here in Baltimore, we only took 2 days to accumulate 32 inches. And we went one better. In the next storm, only a few days later, we got 20 more inches. In the Snow Race, we have whipped the Russians' popkas.

Meanwhile Michigan, though technically not in the Snow Race, has been investigating innovative ways for the application of snow to political and economic problems. Several snowmen recently showed up on the lawn of the state Capitol to protest an increase in taxes, bearing signs that said, "Don't raise our taxes!" and "I'm mad and I vote." Lawmakers have taken a brief break from thinking about raising taxes and are currently investigating whether, through some obscure loophole in state law, snowmen can, indeed, vote.

The snowmen are also reportedly protesting the outsourcing of snow to Moscow.