Bible study gets a little rocky...and weighty

Last night the Hero and I went to our weekly Bible study meeting, where we typically discuss topics of deep importance with a small group of people, such as how to better serve God each day and whether or not there is any food that powdered sugar does not make taste better.


Because our leader, Bob, was not in attendance this time, we decided to vary the format a little. When Bob returns next week and asks us how we spent the evening in his absence, we will say, truthfully, that we all weighed ourselves and talked about our favorite rock songs.


The intent of the evening was to share a little about ourselves, thereby getting to know each other better. "Sharing" is a favorite pastime among Christians, particularly if it is accompanied by, or followed by, food. Preferably accompanied AND followed by food.


So a series of questions was asked, and we went around the circle so everyone could answer. The questions started off benignly, things like your favorite holiday, a treasured childhood memory, and places you absolutely loathe to go.


When the question was posed about what you like to do for fun, one woman, in preparation for her answer, whispered loudly to her husband, "Do I DO anything?" 


"Nothing that's fun," he answered.


This same couple declared that the place they most loathe to go is the dentist's, and that the dentist's staff, although caring and sensitive, pretty much reciprocate this feeling.


We were also asked how many pillows we sleep with. One man answered five. Our hostess said she, too, slept with five pillows, and that she had never met anyone else who used five pillows.


"I just made that up," the man confessed. "I really only use one."


We will have to tell Bob that we were not entirely truthful during this Bible meeting.


Another attendee, who later declared that he had MEANT to ask us all what our favorite popular songs were, asked instead what our favorite ROCK songs were. You probably know, if you have ever discussed a song with another individual, that it is difficult to merely talk about the song -- particularly if you are past a certain age and the song in question is now considered a "classic" -- without eventually beginning to sing at least certain parts of it. And once YOU start, other people cannot remain silent. So, ahem...we did not remain silent.


Later we pondered questions of deeper import, finally coming to a point where we felt we had revealed enough about each other for one night. We then moved on to the food portion of the evening, which involved various tasty, caloric treats that inevitably led to discussions of weight.


Our hosts prevailed upon someone who had recently visited a doctor's office, and had had his official weight recorded, to try out their bathroom scale. "We think it's a little off," they explained. They moved the scale into a discreet part of the hallway, and the man stepped up on it.


Soon cries of dismay filled the house, as he informed us that the scale was indeed off: He weighed almost twenty pounds less on it.


"Twenty pounds!" our hostess moaned. "And here I was feeling so good about my weight!"


Naturally everyone was curious to see if THEY weighed less, too, so we all tried out the scale in turn. And all reported that they, too, weighed significantly less than usual.


Everyone declared that this was the greatest scale EVER, and that they were going to have a second piece of cake AND some powdered sugar on their brownie. Finally, after many adulations heaped upon the scale, everyone left enriched in soul and body.


And once he finds out about our evening, Bob will never be absent again.